chubbacoo

hello, is it me you're looking for?

2011-08-31T20:48:00.000-04:00

Have you seen this flyer? My friend Carrie recently saw it in England, where a man replace Lionel with his own face. Hilarious.

Long time, no see! So, what have you been up to in the last...year!? I've been thinking about updating this blog for almost a month now, but put it off. I'm just not sure that I can keep up with it when school starts up again. Sure, during vacation and fun summer time I have lots to say and publish. I am somewhat sane and can put two words together at night to form a thought. I have a running dialog in my brain about what I could write and share.
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Not half bad

2010-08-22T09:48:00.009-04:00

The thing I miss most would have to be the small moments. The times that the kids would be exploring in their own world and I would stop whatever cleaning or cooking I was doing to join them; to admire them; to delve into their reality even if just for a moment, and then we would each go back to what we were originally doing. But in that moment of time, it was just us and we were just together and loving each other and experiencing the moment in its truest form.

It has been exactly one year since I started working full time, and while I wanted to write about it and express what was going on, I just didn't always have the words or the energy. It wasn't only that I was working full time, but also the kids started a new school full time, I started working out 5-6 days a week, we both had to be mindful of how we spent each minute whether it be to get the most out of our work time, or if we had to pick up the kids at a certain time (real school means that it's not as flexible as daycare), were we getting "me" time, were we getting family time, enough sleep, enough food, healthy meals, grocery shopping, or if we had to try to fit some social time in there (we rarely did). I was racked with anxiety when September rolled around with wondering how we would get it all done--could we get it all done?

The other thing that I miss is blogging. I miss writing about my life, probably because it has been something I have always done even if not in blog form. I miss having those experiences to actually write about. When the bug would bite, I found it hard to actually have anything interesting to say. The kids spent more time away from me than they ever had, which meant that their experiences were happening at school where I wasn't witnessing them. And while this sounds as if I am being slighted by missed opportunities--that is not the case.

It turns out that working full-time for us is not half bad. Of course one of the first things we noticed was the dramatic increase in pay. And while we did splurge the first pay check on new clothes. which we desperately needed, we kept our budget fairly the same. We had a few things to increase such as gas, school expenses including field trips, pictures, and tuition, but other than that everything else was status quo. This means that we tripled the amount of money we were putting toward our debt. By February we were able to completely pay off our credit card debt--about $10,000 in 5 months. Since then we have been able to save up enough money to pay off our SUV 3 1/2 years early. We haven't paid it off yet, but more about that later.

I actually enjoy working and while I would most certainly choose to stay home if that were financially possible, this option is not as evil as I had once thought. In addition to the increase in pay, we have an increase in scheduled time. For some reason I work best under deadlines and when I have a strict schedule to adhere to. I was also ready and willing to commit to losing weight. I had had enough, and while I knew it would require hard work and dedication I knew it was what I needed. It took a little while to figure out what my proximal zone was, but once I did the weight came right off. It took me a total of 4 months to lose 20lbs. And then...I hurt my knee in December. Up until that point I had been running, so this really threw me for a loop. I got really down because I felt I had finally figured out what worked for me and I wasn't done yet! I've slowly worked through it and while I don't think my knee will ever be 100% again, I am working around it. I am, luckily so far, able to run.

This summer I decided to take most of my vacation days so that I can at least feel like I have the summer off (still working 2-3 days a week). July was spent visiting family, staying close to home, and doing things like ABSOLUTELY NOTHING for an entire day. By absolutely nothing, what I really mean is that I spent the entire day reading. I couldn't remember the last time I did that. And it was blissful. But a day or 2 of that was enough. I have continued to read, but am doing it in shorter bursts. We'll see what happens when fall comes around.

When August drew closer, I think we both said, "oh crap! One month left!" so we put our list of activities that we wanted to do before the end of summer into high gear. We did short little day or overnight trips to get the most bang for our buck. I have to say it was nice to not have to research every single free activity happening in the area, and just did what we could when we could.

Part of not going away on a week long vacation had to do with vacation days, and not being out of debt yet, but another big reason is because we put our house up for sale. (This is also why we have hung onto the cash for the SUV instead of paying it off--at least yet) We hadn't planned on doing this so soon, or really for a long time at least. I thought I was going to work part time for at least 2 more years or longer and our house works for that situation. Working full time however, means that I do more driving--although not that much more--but also that the grocery shopping, doctor's visits or anything else that is just normal stuff we have to take care of has to happen after work/school or on weekends. We spend half of our time out on the drive there and back and end up being gone for a whole day just to run errands. The kids have taken to saying, "how long is it" before we even get in the car. Not to mention the endless flower gardens, grass cutting and other household chores that are required of an acre and a half of land. Now I know why the suburbs are so popular, and am longing for the convenience. We still love it here and aren't in a total hurry to leave (we were thrilled to be able to stay the summer) but we are hoping that a move will make the things we have to do a little bit easier.

I used to spend my 2 days a week taking care of the errands or the gardening, cleaning and cooking, and now these responsibilities are shared by the whole family and are done on evenings or weekends (or in some cases not at all). I have decided to let some of the gardening go and we are pretty relaxed about cleaning the house, although we weren't very strict before. I definitely felt pressured to go back to work in order to keep my position more stable (we did have another lay-off scare in June--another reason we were piling up cash) but in the end we have definitely gained.

How are the kids dealing with this? Well, they are getting older and more independent. They were both in school all day every day and while they were tired at night time, they loved it. They have friends and activities that I would not have been able to provide them with and it is exciting to us as parents to witness their growth from a different perspective.

I'm not as nervous as this fall rolls around, but I am excited. I'm excited for Cameron to start Kindergarten in a new class and hoping that he thrives. Mikaela was so successful in Montessori that we have decided to keep her there another year. I am giving my weight loss another kick-start this fall and hope to lose those last 20 lbs, am going to try to blog if I have anything to blog about, but will definitely work on at least scrapbooking our family's memories--and finishing those baby books!! We're not sure when or if the move will happen, but either way we are fairly content. We will have all debt paid off in 1-2 years and are looking forward to never going back.

The most exciting thing is that I now know we can accomplish all of this and we can do it well. It may not be easy, but we are thankful for all that we have and all that we will achieve.

You'll find that some of the resources on the blog aren't being updated as much as I would like (or at all), but a few that have helped me immensely this year:

health
ChrisFit
Podrunner
Livestrong--My Plate

money
Dave Ramsey
My Total Money Makeover

Recipes
Should still be updating as I tag them (on the left)

Scheduling
Google Calendar

...and major props to my iPhone that now carries my entire life in one little black box. And to my husband who let me have it <3

To Pee or Naught to Pee

2009-07-06T08:45:00.003-04:00

It's here. The time that most parents look forward to from the first diaper change...DIAPER FREEDOM!! Mikaela has been wearing "big girl underwears" for about a year now and took to potty training very well. She was very motivated--such a difference from Cameron. We bribed that kid with everything under the sun, but he was having none of it. Kaela barely had to be prompted, until the novelty wore off and her independence kicked in. Even then, it wasn't as daunting a task as training Cameron (and a lot earlier than him, too). Throughout the year she would have anywhere from a few accidents a day to a couple a week. Within the last month (she turned 3 two months ago) she completely stopped the once-a-week accidents, and within the last month she has been waking up dry every morning. About two weeks ago we started sending her to bed with no pull-up on and she hasn't had a single accident! Again, so different from her big brother.

I feel a rush of freedom, or a realization that...this is it. Cameron and Mikaela are "big kids" now--it's official. And I feel great about it, but part of me is saying, "be careful, don't grow up too fast." I guess I'm fearing a slippery slope scenario. In any case, with the good comes the..."COME. ON. Are you kidding me?"

Why is it that my daughter must visit every public bathroom in the vicinity--twice?! This is one problem that I didn't have with Cam. It doesn't matter where we are or what we are doing, but if she is even remotely aware that there is a bathroom in the area--SHE HAS TO GO. OK, so she's just being careful and doesn't want to have an accident, you say. Maybe, but why, after 10 minutes of going, does she have to go again?? Or, even worse--when we are in BJ's in the farthest corner of the entire place with a full cart of groceries--I HAVE TO GO POTTY. Or my favorite, "Mommy, I have to go POOOOOOPPPPIIIEEEE."

And while we are on the subject of going...I have always shyed away from allowing my son to go outside. Even though we are in a remote area with no neighbors on two sides, I just didn't want him to get into that habit. I know of kids who suddenly feel the freedom to let loose wherever they are and (LOL) Cameron already had a surprise poop in my aunt's yard when I let him run naked for a few minutes outside. I thought it was hilarious, and my young male cousins will probably never forget it as long as the live. Anyway, the kid doesn't need any ideas. Well, of course boys will be boys and men will be men. Kyle has taught and allowed him an occasional outside pee and knowing this, Cameron has suggested to me several times while playing outside that he, "isn't going to make it." The bathroom is right inside and probably closer than the closest tree, but outside seems like the better option. Or on a recent walk out back to the lake, he refused to go back to the house and wanted to pee in the neighbor's yard. It's not a constant battle at this point, and I will continue to fight it as the situation arises. I'm just not ready to teach my daughter the finer art of squatting in the woods. You know, the whole balancing act, proper squat format, don't pee on your shoes!, and watch out for the bugs...she's got her college years to learn that.

It's a Beautiful Day for a Bargain!

2009-06-06T20:01:00.002-04:00

Now that my time is not consumed with eating away my stress, I have time for reading a book (The Story of Edgar Sawtelle--not as consuming as Twilight, but I'm enjoying it so far), watching my favorite show So You Think You Can Dance, and today we garage saled. Kyle and I are lovers of a good deal, so of course we love garage sales. Before the kids, we'd casually stroll about with Tim Horton's (coffee) in hand and look for some household/tools/furniture bargains. We did a bit when the kids were young, but not as much. Once we moved to this more rural area, we weren't able to go out as much since we are fairly far removed from most communities who have the good sales.

This year (today) we finally hit the yearly 10 mile garage sale in our area. Ten miles and about 5 communities all selling their crap. And we loved every minute of it. We tried to plan a course, but that got cumbersome and just started hitting the ones we though looked good as we passed by or the ones we could get out and walk around to several. We took the kids with us, knowing that they would score some free crap (and did they ever), but also knowing that they would probably get cranky and need to go home at some point.

We headed out at 9am and I could feel the thrill of the hunt immediately. I lost track of how many we went to, but we just kept going, feeding the kids snacks, lunch, drinks all along the way. We took our jogging stroller knowing that if we were walking quite a bit or if they started to just get plain tired they could crash in there for a bit. Best. stroller. ever. And we got several compliments on it. We had two potty breaks, filled the SUV up to the point that we were shoving things in between Cameron and Kaela and tied stuff to the roof, didn't get home until 4pm, and spent $92 including a couple hot dogs, water and cupcakes. We couldn't believe how amazing the kids were behaving--they loved it! The kept saying "are we going saling more?" "Are we going to another sale garage?" I'm sure that getting toys and clothes for them helped, but I think they also enjoyed talking to everyone. We also were in awe of our finds...we just wanted to have a fun, carefree day and took out $100 cash. This is some of what we came home with (not sure I can remember it all, but I'll try):

At least 20 pieces of clothing for Kaela including boots, slippers, pj's, snowsuit, and playclothes (no boys clothes in Cammie's size!! Just one pair of snowpants)
some little toys, crafts, baseball glove, sport backpack, stuffed Barney (ick), FREE bubble blower that we already have but the kids always fight over, FREE helicopter toy that Cam is in love with, strawberry shortcake colorforms and figurine (free)
3 wood chairs (two are in my kitchen now) for $3 each
scarf for me
2 nail guns--finisher and stapler for $20, new weeder tool because my disappeared
FREE wood lounger that was sitting on the road waiting for garbage pick up
bike for Kaela for next year--all girly and she took $10 less than she was asking ($30)
a trellis for $2 but we didnt' have room and have to go back for it. hope it's still there tomorrow!
horse swing for swing set--$5 (they are about $50)!! and bouncy hopper ball

The kids were troopers the whole way and Kyle started to peeter out after a while. It seems my recent and unfortunate run-in with poison ivy, and the prescription of prednisone to control it, has kept me fairly wired and energetic. I can't remember having this much energy, which helped to keep me going but has also helped me to motivate to get the house spotless and laundry done. I know, most people do these things normally, but I wanted to do them and could probably clean until I fall over--if only I wouldn't keep the kids up in the process.

Tomorrow we are going to try to work on the raised vegetable garden again. It was put on hold when we weren't sure what money would be coming in, but now we feel that we can move forward. Nothing substantial, but it's new to us so it's exciting!

j.o.b.

2009-06-06T19:47:00.003-04:00

The job situation is stable and looking...well, stable for now. I got a call saying that no one was losing their job--after days of worrying, stressing, attending extra meetings and driving all over the place--not that I'm complaining. There are some things that still need to be worked out in order for me to really be safe, and I'm not sure I'll ever feel that way again in my current position. That's the downfall of working part-time in my area--there are no guarantees. I guess that could be said for most people's job and I know so many people out there are dealing with the possibility or reality of being unemployed.

It's a scary thought--to not be able to pay bills, have health insurance, let alone any "extras" or fun stuff. I think that we would have made it somehow, but I know that our financial plan that we have been working on for a few years now would be set back. And that is disheartening. We have been paying down debt and have not used any credit cards for a couple years now. While I would not have resorted to using a credit card again (if possible) I'm sure that we would have been behind in some payments. Because we are paying down debt, we only have a limited "emergency" fund and no cushion in case of job loss. At this time, I was wondering if we had been doing the right thing. I guess...but it definitely made me think twice about our plan. For now, we'll just keep doing as we have been.

One thing that has changed is that this has been a reality check and has made me start to consider other opportunities. There aren't that many right now, but going back to work full time is definitely on the horizon. I had expected that at some point. It's not that I don't want to work full time, but it's probably going to mean some big changes both professionally and personally. Hopefully, I can stay where I am for another year at least, but I'm still keeping my eyes open. If a great opportunity presents itself sooner, I am more inclined to go after it than I was previously.

All the while my responsibilities kept on coming and I had/have some projects to work on. It was very difficult for me to concentrate while worrying about keeping a job, but now I feel like I have a bit of a renewed spirit and am looking forward to next school year. Cautiously.

sweet, sweet cammie

2009-05-20T21:08:00.003-04:00

When I was pregnant, we told our family by having Cameron say, "Mommy has a baby in her belly!" It was exciting for him and funny to see everyone's reaction. Unfortunately, I miscarried, but we never explained what that meant to Cameron. He's only 4 and I guess never fully realized what we were talking about. He never asked anything about the baby, but did continue to say occasionally, "I have a baby in my belly!" We just laugh, and sometimes I used to cry, but now we just think he's cute.

Cameron loves babies and is the most gentle, the most sweet, and the most adoring boy I have ever seen around them. Everyday I have to stop by the baby room at their school so that we can say hi. He comforts them if they are crying, plays with them and makes them laugh, and lightly touches their cheek or chin and looks at them lovingly.

The other night I was cuddling with Cammie in bed, and he said, "When I grow up, I'm going to have a baby in my belly." I explained that boys don't have babies in their bellies. He looked at me with a pained expression and repeated, "When I grow up, I'm going to have a baby in my belly."

"No, Cameron, boys can't have babies." And then his eyes squinched up and he looked like he was going to cry. "Cameron, you want to grow up and by like Daddy, right?"

"yes"

"Well, you can grow up and be a daddy like your daddy, but only mommies have babies. So one day, you can grow up and have a baby, but the mommy will have the baby in her belly. Just like Mommy had you in her belly."

That seemed to settle him...for the moment. Hard to believe I had that conversation with him, but anytime I lay down with him for a while before bed he comes up with some funny things to talk about. Sometimes we have science lessons, sometimes we just talk about the day, sometimes we talk about his friends at school and how they treat him. It's a very special, quiet time that he just opens up and talks about whatever is on his mind. I know it won't always be like this, but I am going to treasure it for as long as it lasts.

a whole lotta nuttin

2009-05-14T19:59:00.003-04:00

Things have taken a turn in my world and thus I have become silent. I did finish the Twilight series in record time (for me) and loved it. L.O.V.E.D. it. I don't care if it is teen-angst-first-vampire-love-stuff. I dig it. And yes, the gardening is taking over my life again, but things with my job have been clouding my mind. I really don't want to air it all out here, but the gist of it is that I hope to continue to have a job. For about a week there was so much drama going on in my office that I was sick about it. I don't usually work in the office, so once I left I felt so much better and got back into the swing of things. I have occasional reminders that I'm not as safe as I used to be, but I keep telling myself that worrying about it isn't going to change the outcome. All I can do is keep doing what I'm doing and wait to see how it all unfolds--hard thing for a "planner" to do. The good thing is, that it has nothing to do with my performance. Just a shift in management, combination of departments, and possible weird certification/tenure/seniority stuff (of which the tenure and seniority I gave up when going part-time).

I don't know if it is all the drama and the stress, or I'm just tired, or what, but I haven't been experimenting with recipes, writing or reading blogs...I've just kinda been blah. Not that I'm moping around the house, but I certainly don't feel like myself lately. Hmmm...or maybe it's that pesky little pill. TMI? Probably. Oh well. Deal with it.

On top of everything--or maybe because of everything--MY KIDS ARE DRIVING ME CRAZY. Like seriously, crazy. I'm definitely ready for some consistently nice weather (yeah right) and get them outside and on some trails. Usually they can't fight over toys or poke each other, or steal each others whatevers when we are hiking. I see a lot of that in our future. That and the beach..ooh, can't wait for the beach days.

And then next week Kaela turns 3...how in the world is that happening? It blows my mind. And when I start to think forward, it all seems like it's about to go in fast forward. I think I stole some extra time with Cameron having the late birthday and having to wait another year to start school (2nd year of PreK next year). After that, Kaela starts and then it just keeps going. I feel like I should have that extra year with her, too! With all of their driving me craziness, I'm not as sad about them going off to school, but also with all the job uncertainty going on I'm facing the reality of full-time work. I haven't worked full time in 4 years...it will be quite a change for our household when that happens. Will I have the time to blog (forget thinking about the blahs), will I have time to cook? yikes...anyway, what was I talking about? Oh yeah, Kaela...so my little girl is turning 3...

Hope I haven't lost you all--or at least not permanently. I'm sure I'll be back to my old self at some point. Until then, just enjoy the music. I know I hop on my own blog just to hear "Beautiful Life" and it makes me feel like everything is great :)

Because it's fun...and Friday

2009-04-24T14:13:00.001-04:00

I've been Twilighted and Kidnapped by the Sun

2009-04-19T14:38:00.002-04:00

I was on the fence about reading Twilight, but then I saw the movie and asked a few people at work if the book was worth it. The answer: definitely. And I have to agree. So all of you who are snubbing the teen craze--you don't know what you're missing. Kyle and I are fighting over the copy we borrowed from one of his students--day and night. The series has 4 books in it and we are currently reading the 2nd (New Moon). This is where I spend all my free time.

When the kids are around we have been outside soaking up all the beautiful sun that has come our way. Yes, it's sometimes cold, but we just bundle up and take it in. It feels great and in turn we have gotten quite a jump start on our gardening this year. So, with that in mind we are building and planning a vegetable garden. I've been wanting to grow something tangible, something useful, for several years but growing children took over. They're on their own now (sorry kids) and we are ready to take on this project. I'll let ya know how it goes.

Other than that...I have a few random photos to put together and share, but only when Kyle wins the wrestle for the book. Don't get your hopes up though--I fight dirty. (how else can I beat a 6'3" gigantic hunk of a man??)

ahh kids

2009-03-31T16:14:00.004-04:00

Cameron has gotten into somewhat of a sneaky stage lately. He knows what he is doing is wrong (or more accurately, not allowed) but he does it anyway. A few minutes ago I caught him with half of a box of wipes in his hand, cleaning the floor. While I will accept any help I can get in the cleaning area, the reaction to me catching him is what really upset me. The look on his face said, "Oh shhh... I'm in trouble." He went to timeout--not for the wipes, but for doing something he knew was wrong. We had a little talk and he seemed to get it. But, ya never know with those sneaky 4 year olds.

Cameron is now on the task of cleaning up our big box of coloring supplies. They accidentally fell on to the floor--no big deal--and he is putting them back. He came up to me in the kitchen and asked for a cloth. I asked, "what for?" He paused, looked up at me, sighed and said, "I just need to clean off my hand." With that, he reluctantly held up his hand with his fingers pressed together. I saw bright, red marker all over it. Apparently he thought he was going to get in trouble, but instead of trying to hide it or take care of it himself he decided to own up to it and suffer the consequences. I'm sure you know that I would be more likely to draw with the marker all over my own face rather than be upset with him for getting dirty. All I could do was give him a big smile, a bigger hug, and tell him that I love him. And go finish cleaning up before I turn 70.

note: I am standing in my kitchen writing this while it's fresh in my mind. The kids are supposed to be cleaning up. Cameron just came in saying that Kaela hit him and I can hear her crying. I walked into the dining room to see what was going on and she was sitting in our time out area. I said, "did you put yourself in time out?" She said, "yes" I said, "oh, because you weren't being nice?" And with that she turned herself around on her little bum, looked into the corner and said, "don't talk to me". I'll say it again...ahhh, kids. Did I mention both refused to nap today? Big surprise, right?

Will it ever end?

2009-03-31T13:41:00.003-04:00

The sickness, that is. I hear about it at work, on Facebook, from other moms--this is the year of sickness. We certainly have not escaped it and I seem to have gotten the brunt of most of it. I blame this on the fact that no matter how sick my kids are, we still seem to be in each other's faces. I just can't bring myself to not cuddle them up and smother them with attention when they are sick--isn't that the time they need it most? I also blame this on being in schools and touching computers all the time. I try to be very aware that computers are some of the dirtiest non-living things, but apparently not good enough. I am trying to eat a balanced diet, but those things slip once in a while and I am certainly not good at taking a vitamin everyday. I usually remember about the time that my post nasal drip has taken over my face. And lastly, what I know to be one of the major causes and it's a disgusting confession...I still bite my nails. I am able to stop, but it takes a whole lot of effort on my part. It takes serious attention to myself and when I am unconsciously putting my fingers in my mouth, and it takes constant pampering of my nails to keep them filed and painted. Can't imagine why that one seems to slip through the cracks!

So, two weeks ago I lost my voice for no apparent reason except the aforementioned post nasal and yesterday I woke up with a stellar sore throat. It seems wimpy to complain about a sore throat, but when you consider spitting because of the pain, well I guess that is at least a little worthy.

I'm hoping for the best and shoving vitamins, ibuprofin, and sudafed down my throat. This weekend is a big one and I need everyone to be in tip top shape!

Spring has Sprung

2009-03-23T21:54:00.003-04:00

Misha Baby, We Love You

2009-03-17T22:20:00.003-04:00

We visited my mom this weekend...and so did Misha. Cameron and Mikaela were beside themselves waiting to see her. Both of them LOVE babies. We have to stop by the baby room at the daycare so they can say hi every day. They gently touch a baby's cheek, or hand or speak sweetly to them. To have a baby around day and night--well, that's just their cup of tea.

It actually started with Cameron wanting to carry and hold Misha. He's a pretty big kid, but still only 4.

Mikaela also wanted to hold Misha, but was pretty happy with hugging and sitting with her.

They played with her toys, wanted her attention, and when she left all they could do was ask, "where's Misha?"

Gourmet Dinner

2009-03-12T18:54:00.006-04:00

Kyle went out with some friends from work for happy hour tonight..the nerve. I mean, the man goes out every....(we've been married 7 years, umm...carry the one...) once every 2 or 3 years by himself.

It's just happy hour so I made this casserole that he loved last week. Anyone else make this? I'm having some trouble. Last week I forgot to put the foil on so I guessed that was why it wasn't cooking in an hour. I tried again this week--with foil--but we are going on 2 hours now (and I even kicked the temp up to 400 degrees!) So, I'm still waiting for him to come home, the casserole's not done and I'm starving. I already gave the kids some turkey dogs and decided to make a peanut butter and jelly graham cracker sandwich. This is totally my favorite thing lately. My mom used to make them occasionally when we were kids (probably because we ran out of bread? At least that's when I brought them out of the closet at our house!) But I know that she really liked them, too. I thought they were ok back then, but preferred my starchy white yummy smooshy bread. Not that I miss white bread or anything. And maybe because I am off white bread that these are so appealing to me. Either that or I'm an old mom. he he.

When I was a kid, my favorite sandwich was a PB & J with a slice of bologna in the middle. Yum, I know you are all grossed out, but I have always loved it. I love all things salty and sweet and I think that was the pull with that one. If only I had bologna (or ate lunch meat) I could really relive my youth right now.

Playtime at OUR House

2009-03-11T18:13:00.003-04:00

note: I included a video section on the left hand side that will stay there. I'll keep posting videos though, since they are small on the side and to let you know when I've added a new one.

Who Broke My Blog?

2009-03-10T13:48:00.002-04:00

Looks like the background wasn't working, which made the text unreadable...I need a makeover anyway. The problem is that I am so picky..so you will see slow changes to the look and the features.

a better me

2009-03-08T13:25:00.003-04:00

On my little bookshelf (right hand side of blog) I've added a new book: A New Earth Awakening to Your Life's Purpose. When Oprah did this book as her book club choice, I really wanted to join in. I got the book from the library and even tuned in briefly to the first webcast. However, I just didn't feel ready to get into heavy reading. I have not been a consistent reader for several years now and being a little out of the loop I was...a little fearful, I guess.

Lately, we have been visiting the library about once a week as a family. I had always wanted to do this, but I was worried about the noise the kids would make and it just never seemed to fit in. Well really, I didn't make much of an effort to fit it in. The past 3 weeks or so has been a wonderful experience for all of us. Last week, I saw A New Earth sitting on the shelf and I said to myself, "alright, let's give it another go." And it sat on my bookshelf at home for about a week. Finally, I just decided to go for it and give it a try.

I opened up the book, glanced at the first chapter and decided to skip it. It didn't look that important and thought I could just jump right into the nitty-gritty. However, as I looked at the first sentence of the 2nd chapter I decided...maybe I should read the first, just in case. And I'm so glad I did.

The first chapter is a bit theoretical and not as tangible as the following chapters, but it spoke to me. I could identify and relate to the thoughts in a way I have never been able to before. In Oprah speak, I had one "aha" moment after the next. I felt a release, an understanding, and an openness that I have not felt in a long time. So far, it has really changed my view.

I have been searching for something...doesn't it seem like so many of us are? Why is it that I read so many of the same topics, discussions, and issues amongst so many people? Why is it when you read my archives you find the same themes circling around and around? I struggle with keeping up with everything as a mom, wife, and employee. I am frustrated when I can't get it all done with the cleaning, and the cooking, and the baking, and spending time with my children. I am constantly on the quest to live a healthy lifestyle, including making healthy foods for my family and exercising. A topic I don't write much about has been my unrest with spirituality. I don't subscribe to any one religion, but have more of a world view. I approach religions with an open mind, an acceptance of all beliefs, but have struggled to define exactly what this means in my life as well as how will I pass essential values and morals on to my children. My job is a great job and I relish the flexibility it provides. There are many things I greatly enjoy about it, but I can't bring myself to say I love it. I appreciate everything it provides for me, but have always felt a need to make a difference in the world. I have always wanted to help people, specifically children, and I get very little to no satisfaction in this area with my current position. I wonder over and over again, do I continue in my current state because of the convenience it affords me or do I try to move on to something I truly love and not just like?

It feels like I work on maybe one or two areas of my life, but haven't been able to "conquer" all or any of them. The battle starts to fade and I move on to the next issue until it all comes full circle and I start again. Is this what my life is meant to be? I really don't want to spend the rest of it circling in the same spot and never finding the answers. What about this,

"Instead of asking what I want from life, ask what does life want from me"

Hmmm...yes, I think I felt that way once before and I forgot about it. What does life want from me? I've already gotten a couple answers--thank you, life. I'll keep listening.

Yesterday, we went to a new library (to us) and drove down a long road along the river we haven't been down in a long time. It was a truly enjoyable experience, yet simple. Just a normal event. I had conversations with my husband, interactions with my children, and it was normal yet, different. We went to my in-laws house to celebrate my husband and brother in-law's birthdays. I wasn't feeling well, but wanted to be with the family so I went anyway. Again, so glad I did. I was more open and because of the release I had felt from reading the book, had a much more agreeable presence. How do I say this without sounding like a jerk? This is hard to admit, so hang in there with me 'til the end. Sometimes when I spend time with certain people, I walk in to an event with...a status quo of almost crabbiness, I guess. Sometimes I can just be disagreeable without reason. It just resides there, lying underneath the surface. Nothing that is said or done can snap me out of it. I am aware of it, ashamed of it, but still it sits there because I don't know what to do with it. Those feelings were gone yesterday. I was able to engage people with no prior thoughts or attachments. I could take what they had to say and to give to me at that time and appreciate all that it was, for what it was. And for the most part, all that my friends and family have to give to me is love. I guess this is what they mean by "being present".

I have heard this many times before "it's important to be present". So, I recall sitting in my livingroom with my kids, trying to be present. I would shut out all the extraneous thoughts of work, or getting things done, or whatever else was running through my mind. I would sit there and take it all in. But not really. I was trying to let go of the to do list, but I still had all the prior emotional attachments. Even though I stopped the distraction of thoughts, that layer of emotion was still present and essentially, blinding. I didn't get it. I have always tried to put myself in a present state--appreciate the kids being young, appreciate this beautiful day, appreciate this time with your family. Appreciate? Yes, I had that down. But really present? I only just scratched the surface.

Mind on my Money, Money on my Mind

2009-03-01T19:21:00.003-05:00

I'm told, "you're going to lose your readers" because I haven't written in a while. That makes me laugh for a couple reasons. The truth is, I write when I have something interesting to say (well, at least that is of interest to me) or a memory that I want to capture. I often end up writing several posts at once because thing shave been building up and I get in the mood. If you don't hear from me for a while, it's probably because things are either 1) crazy busy and I can't even stop to think about it or 2) just the daily grind.

The past couple weeks have had a bit of both. The other truth is that I do write, but I don't always post. In fact, I wrote a post about how I was jumping out of my skin waiting to hear about what kind of finance rate we were going to get for our new vehicle. Looking back, it really isn't something that any of you would want to read at length, but it took the edge off for me while I was just sitting around itching with anticipation.

After hours of research and visiting a few dealerships we did buy a "new to us" Honda Pilot. It was a stressful situation for me with the research, comparing, etc., but now it's done and I feel like we got a really great family vehicle for a fantastic price. I'm not one to love cars--I actually think it's kind of silly to "love" your car, but I can appreciate a reliable vehicle to get me from place to place. And if you add in a few extras (such as heated seats--hot butt!) then I might be a little more fond. So it's true that I have left the minivan world and moved into the land of SUV's, but only sort of. We do have the optional 3rd row that goes up or down very easily depending on if we need extra seats or the extra storage. I love the possibilities.

And then we helped my mom move back to Pittsburgh. Actually, Kyle helped put things together and I tried to keep the kids out of the way. I'm really excited to have my mom closer and her new digs have some fancy amenities that I plan to take full advantage of.

One of my many obstacles from day to day, week to week, and now year to year is to get our debt and spending under control. A couple years ago, my mom gave me the Financial Peace book by Dave Ramsey. What he said made sense and I started arranging our lifestyle and budget according to his principles. There were a couple things that I wasn't so sure about and I still struggle with. First and foremost, I have chosen to work part time. I was a full time employee up until I was able to go part time when Cameron was 4 months old. It was the best decision and I feel very blessed to have been able to have that opportunity. If I could have stayed home with him full time I would have done so. The only reason I could not is because I carry the health insurance for our family and it wasn't something we could give up. Now, I am thankful that I continued to work because I think it fulfills some needs that I have and allows me to give the kids some independence with going to "school". One of Dave's principles is to make as much money as you can to get out of debt as fast as you are able. That makes sense, but it doesn't take me more than 15 seconds to say that my family comes first and I will never get this time back. For that reason, we have to make due with the money we are bringing in.

After I got a working budget, we worked out a system to use only cash and no credit card for any reason. We have been successful at this for 2 years now and looking back--I'm pretty proud of that! We have been steadily paying our debt, spending within our budget, and feeling like we were doing the right thing for quite some time. Recently, however, I started getting frustrated that my credit card debt wasn't disappearing as quickly as I would like. I took a hard look at where we were spending money and although I don't think we were spending outrageous amounts, I do think we can cut back. So, we are making some hard choices and cutting way back in a lot of areas--to the point that I don't want to buy anything new, especially if it's not absolutely necessary. I admit, I am saying this after we bought a new car (not according to Dave either because we financed) and I just bought the kids new wardrobes for next year ($5 per piece of clothing from Children's Place!! And 80% off at Harstrings! Great deals!). Still, this means no decorating pieces for our house, cutting back on gifts, Christmas budget, and vacation. No more electronics fund (sorry...no flat screen), furniture, or any of the "extra" budgeting that I had been doing. All of those funds are being slushed into the credit card until it is paid off.

We will be feeling good in our reliable car, but we'll be vacationing at my mom's this year. Camping is even out of our budget. If I turn down invitations to go out to eat, don't take it personally it's just because I went out to dinner with you 3 years ago and am still paying it off. :)

Goin’ To the Chapel

2009-02-10T21:15:00.001-05:00

Cameron and I were walking out of the grocery store and he said, "Mommy, I am going to marry Mikaela."

"You can't marry Kaela, it's against the rules."

"And you will marry Daddy," he said as we crossed the parking lot.

"I already married Daddy."

"And I will marry Kaela."

"You can't marry Kaela, it's against the rules. You can marry Maddie," I said cautiously. We've always thought that the two neighbors would think this idea gross and consider themselves more like brother and sister than anything icky like linking them romantically. I didn't want to put any pressure on their 4 year old friendship. Being 4 is tough enough.

"Yeah! I will marry Maddie."

"Or you can marry Sophia."

"No, Sophia is too little for me to marry, but Kaela can marry Sophia."

"Um," and I thought to myself...maybe if people get their heads on straight because who are we to judge? Wouldn't it be nice if by that time people would be a little more tolerant of others? Maybe just because you or your religion doesn't believe that marriage between same sex couples is acceptable, maybe people can realize that doesn't give them the right to dictate what marriage means to others. Yes, Cameron, Kaela could marry Sophia if they so choose.

And then Cam says "...because Kaela and Sophia are the same size!"

"Uh, yes, they are the same size..."

someday you'll find it, the rainbow connection...

2009-02-06T21:20:00.004-05:00

This was my favorite song when I was a kid. I LOVED rainbows and not just a little. My *dream* room had an ever-expansive rainbow painted across the entire wall. That was awesome. I had Peanuts rainbow curtains to match. I would have painted myself a rainbow if I could have. I've never been much of an artist, but hand me a few Crayola markers and I will draw the most beautiful rainbow any 8 year old could ever do.

When I saw the picture, I had to hop right on over and see what this food dream come true could possible be! I linked this recipe on the right, but I had to write about it, too. The pictures are just so rainbowly spectacular. (Note the new word for the week--this is becoming a habit.)

The Omnomicon

when good cakes go bad

2009-02-06T21:01:00.004-05:00

I had to check the archives to make sure I wasn't included..I've made some bad cakes in my day. And one really great one that I never got a picture of. But that's a story for another day.

Amy, this one's for you...if this is your competition--you definitely need to up your prices!!

Cake Wrecks

Oh! and Kyle has an idea for you: make a butt shaped cake so people can say "it tastes like ass!" (his sinuses are pressured, too; you can't hold him accountable)

Oh Mr Sun, Sun, Mr Golden Sun

2009-02-06T20:05:00.005-05:00

Cameron has always been a great sleeper. He wasn't one of those crazy, nice babies that slept through the night at 6 weeks (or 6 months) but he would go to sleep fairly easily and wake up happy. He has always taken great naps. He will even still indulge me with some afternoon sleep a few times a week. However, he has acquired that atrocious habit that most 4 year olds torment their parents with in the morning, "is it time to get up?" Although his statement is more like, "MOMMY! DADDY! It's time to get up!"

My mom came to visit last week and slept on the couch, which happens to be right outside Cameron's room. Now before you think I am awful for making my mother sleep on the couch, let me explain the set up. Then I'll get to the point--I promise. First of all, I have no guest room and it's a little bit more annoying than I thought it would be when we moved from our 4 bedroom house. My brother, his wife, and my baby niece were all crammed into Mikaela's room. They loved sleeping in a princess bed--and who wouldn't?! Mikaela slept in Cameron's room and my mom enjoys sleeping on the couch for two reasons. One: she gets a feather bed spread out over the couch and the ottoman so it's like a double, and then she gets the down comforter over her; secondly, Cameron comes out of his room and snuggles her in the morning. She particularly loves it when he touches her neck with his icy, cold fingers. She told me so. Don't cry for her, Argentina.

We started talking to Cameron about "when Mr. Sun is out then you can get up" because it's still dark here for some time in the morning. Cameron comes out of his room now and says, "Mr Sun is out--time to get up!" Or, "is Mr Sun out?" or "where is Mr Sun?" Now, I know there are remedies to this and I think I have heard quite a few involving an alarm clock and setting it for an appropriate time to get up...etc etc but I haven't gotten around to it.

But then I saw this: Good Nite Lite. It's a moon! and a Mr Sun! and it tells Jr when to get up...and it's $35!! yikes. But maybe Ya Ya would like to sleep in a little next time she visits?

Oh, and Kaela could use one, too.

I'm using the only brain cell available at this time

2009-02-06T11:01:00.002-05:00

Last week Misha came to visit...oh, and my mom, brother, and sister in law. I took NO pictures at all, but Mom had her fancy camera so when she gets a spare moment we'll be posting those pics.

As for me, well my brother left us a great gift--yet another cold. Totally not his fault, but I am going on my 3rd illness in about 2 weeks. I'm seriously over it. I guess I'll start taking those vitamins EVERY day.

You'll excuse my lack of judgment as I post this "25 Random Things About Me" that has been circulating Facebook and blogs everywhere. The first time I was tagged, I ignored it. But then more came through and I truly do enjoy reading this information about other people--for the most part. So, since I have little to no brain function due to sinus pressure...here ya go.

I have to crack my hips every night before I fall asleep.
I have always wanted to be a foster mom.
I lived in Canada for 2 years.
The only thing I have ever known for sure is that I wanted to have a family.
I love the smell of firewood and heat our house with a wood burning stove.
I make realistic plans for life, but end up following my heart. And it has always been right.
I would move anywhere in order to live in a cul-de-sac with my friends.
My husband is the man of my dreams. For real.
I will never have the regret that “I should have had more fun”.
I love all types of music. I have seen Air Supply, Vanilla Ice, Motley Crue, Grateful Dead and the Wiggles in concert.
I am an internet junky. I love having the power of knowledge at my fingertips.
I love to belt out Whitney Houston tunes in the car. By myself.
I changed my major in college 4 times. I changed my grad program once.
Once I get an idea in my head, I have to research, plan, and figure it all out until there is nothing left to wonder about.
I have written a journal ever since I can remember. Now I write a blog so that my kids will know the stories of our lives.
In 10 years of public school I had one good teacher. My freshman year in Catholic school I had three. I have had 1 teacher and 1 counselor who did more harm than good.
I strive to be the teacher my students need, not necessarily who they want.
I love the thrill of a good bargain.
I have never been one to sit around and wish. If I want something to change I figure out a way to do it.
I am often underestimated because I have blonde hair, big boobs and a "sweet" smile.
I hate to clean my room—still.
Last year, an 18 year old boy died in front of my house.
I highly respect people who are real, can laugh at themselves, and admit when they are wrong.
I have pierced my nose and tongue, and have a tattoo.
I care more about making a difference than making a lot of money.

what's the secret handshake?

2009-01-21T19:47:00.004-05:00

When I was a kid we used to say a little prayer every night before bed. It went like this, "God bless Mommy and Daddy, 2 Grandmas and Grandpas, Uncle Mike, Aunt Chris and Uncle Bob, Jeff, Mike, and Jen, Tussy [our dog] and then it varied according to our pets and whatever we were feeling I guess. We must have had our own names in there, too. My brother being the ever loving PIA that he was, used to throw a fit (mainly for the sake of throwing a fit) if we didn't say things correctly or whatever his issue of the day was.

Before we put our own kids to bed we always give hugs and kisses. Slowly we added on...first a kiss, then a hug, then a bump, then a bump with an explosion, then a bump with a click of the tongue and point your finger up for a shock. Unless it's Kaela, then you could either be in for a quiet explosion and shock or a loud one--you never know until you get yelled at for doing the wrong thing. Sometimes we have a song or two, and almost always we have a Walton's style "I love you!" and "you're my best friend!" or from Kaela "you're THE best friend!" and "I love you!" and "sweet dreams!" and "you're the best friend, Cammie!" and "you're the best friend, Daddy!" and they all have to be repeated back. Sometimes we are at this for a few minutes and have to put an end to it, but I really do love it and wouldn't change our routine for anything.

It's my blog. I can cry if I want to.

2009-01-20T10:12:00.002-05:00

I'm in a slump--and who wouldn't be? We had a full week of a stomach virus, me included. A week of water, crackers, and cereal. Right on the tail end of that virus, before it even had time to give us it's last little kick, we all started with a cold. We are on day 9 or 10 of no sleep. It's really getting old. I'm exhausted, Kyle's exhausted, the kids are exhausted and miserable. I'm tired of being tired. I can't even retreat for a long, hot shower because our plumbing is leaking. The plumbers can get here on Thursday--for a very hefty charge. I'm sitting here trying to plan some meals so we can eat real food and at least pretend to feel normal, but I'm feeling...blah.

OK, that's about all the feeling sorry for myself I'm going to allow. I'm the first one to say "if you're not happy with something--change it". While these things are largely out of my control maybe if I try to do something about it I'll feel a little relief. Round the clock vitamin surges? Energy boosts? Sitting on my butt and relaxing? Yes!

I also have to mention that all has not been doom and gloom. Our next door neighbors, whom we don't know all that well, cooked and dropped off a warm and delicious dinner of chicken and dumplings, salad, and fresh baked chocolate chip cookies. It was one of the nicest things anyone has done for us. It was just what we needed when we needed it. They probably think it's not that big of a deal, but just that small thing made a big difference. It was the first full meal we had had in a week. It was warm and full of good things to give us energy and at the same time feel comforted.

Well, if I'm going to do something I guess I should stop blogging and start doing. Here I go...right now...off to put things back together...here I go...not feeling sorry for myself any longer...

oh what a week

2009-01-16T21:27:00.002-05:00

It all started late Saturday night. It was a quiet cough, but the "WAAAAH" that came afterwards told me this was for real. I didn't even get into her room and I knew. But to tell you the truth, something about that cough--maybe it was a motherly premonition, but I knew before I even went downstairs. No, I know what it was! You know that they say moms can tell what their babies want by their cry? It's finally kicked in! After 2 1/2 years, I finally got it! Yes, Kaela puked. And then several more times and several more bed and pj changes. And so it began....the week of bodily fluids.

We've been a pathetic bunch. The kids both had it, then me, and Kyle with some mild symptoms some of which (of his own admission) may have been hypochondriac-istic. You love it when I make up words. I have been on a diet of saltine crackers (hold the salt) and cheerios. Today, I had real food. But only once. And the worst of it all? the puking--no, the diarrhea--no, the caffeine withdrawal headache! So much so that I decided to take the stomach ache hit and drink the caffeine. At least the stomach ache goes away...eventually. The headache does not.

While my wild and crazy bunch slew their fluids all over the place, our plumbing decided to revolt. Such timing. We noticed a foul smell in the living room (to which Kyle blamed the kids! Ok, usually it is them, but this time it was really awful). Upon checking the dark and gloomy basement, yep there's a leak or blockage or something bad going on. Yea us.

And then the peanut butter recall? Actually, for us it was about the cheese cracker peanut butter filled "stop sale". Yes, our staple? Oh, so maybe it's not a virus and it's just salmonella. GREAT. Same symptoms, really and loads of fun just the same.

Tonight I should be hanging out with the girls in Pgh. Kristie's baby shower is tomorrow and I had arranged a weekend back and meeting up with friends, but since I just ate the first real food since Monday I didn't think it was a great idea. That and the 12+ inches of snow falling on route. Maybe I'll get there tomorrow...

my girly girl

2009-01-06T14:21:00.005-05:00

Inside I'm raging. No daughter of mine will feel the pressures of marriage and finding Prince Charming!

Nah, I'm just kidding. I'm so not wound tight enough to care. I sort of want to, but I don't. If she wants to dress up with a veil, so be it. She doesn't even know what it is, but that it's a pretty, fun thing to wear. I will say the white, silky, pink fur trimmed "apron," however is going in the garbage. We were all taken aback by that when it came out of the dress up trunk (pre-loaded so no one purposely chose that silky thing). I thought Kyle was going to go ballistic. Or at least put it in his pocket for me. For now she is just a little princess dressing up in some cute clothing. (Note the tattoos on the arm. She is so my girl)

So, go ahead my little one. Dress up in all your pretty "skuwts", shoes, and veils.

Have at it.

...or not.

Tradition

2009-01-03T10:22:00.006-05:00

I've been slowly adding to my scrapbook pages, maybe at some point they will all get put together into a book. Since my printer only prints 8.5 x 11 pages (and not the standard 12 x 12 scrapbook page) I have to get creative. Mostly, I just make a page and back it with some pretty paper. This one I decided to add journals to each side. It's a little out of order here, but picture the journalling on each side of the page.

Wow, I can see my forehead a mile away in that picture.

a bunch of random thoughts strung together

2009-01-02T20:20:00.003-05:00

Mom (and everyone else) make this immediately.

My Henckels and I got into a fight...needless to say I did not win. I am only a finger chunk lighter and expect a full recovery in days. Don't worry, we made up.

We now own a fish named Panda Bear. Don't even try to talk him out of it.

Cameron: ...yeah, like sound waves traveling through the air [makes wavey motion with hands] into my ears. That is how we hear sounds.
Me: [mouth wide open]
Kyle: Sid the Science Kid is awesome

Cameron: [new favorite saying] Did you know that, Mom?

Kaela: You're the best friend, Mommay!

2008 Christmas Eve Scrap

2009-01-01T15:27:00.001-05:00

Four!

2009-01-01T14:02:00.003-05:00

While I can't believe Cameron is four...my sweet baby boy...at the same time I'm thinking, "finally!" Since he is in a mixed 3/4 Pre-K class he does many of the things that 4 year olds are already doing. He definitely shows his age and maturity in some social aspects and in his speech, but otherwise he's a pretty smart guy and keeps up well. He'll be in PreK again next year since his birthday is so late, but I'm glad that he has been given the opportunity to be with the older kids this year.

Cameron has always enjoyed movies, cartoons and characters, but he never really clung on to any of them as I have seen other kids do. This is somewhat a relief as we are not totally charactered out, but on the other hand it takes away the fun of, "look! it's ____!" That is, until recently. I don't know if he suddenly loves the movie, or the love of his cousin Mark who loves the movie, or the fact that everything you could possibly imagine is made in the shape or likeness of Cars, but he's got the bug! And I'm cool with that. This definitely was a Cars birthday (and Christmas). I'm actually going to have to watch and pay attention to the movie so I know who/what he is talking about these days. Ah, kids these days. LOL

... IDK...my BFF Jill? I love that commercial. Sorry if I lost ya on that one. But if I didn't, you are ROTF or LMAO. Or maybe it should be LYAO. Whateve.

Anyway, here it is--the party in all it's lovely craziness.

now we're cooking

2008-12-30T15:54:00.002-05:00

I've gotten so used to eating rather light foods that days and days of holiday feasts were weighing heavily on me...and my butt. I couldn't take it anymore. I dug out (from my internet archives) a few recipes that I have been saving and wanting to try. Ellie Krieger is my new hero, although every time I watch her show I just look at the kitchen and how beautiful it is. That's pretty much standard for me and any cooking show.

My mom and step-dad were over and I thought of them as perfect guinea pigs (insert evil laugh here). I needed a good clearing out and while they had a plane to catch the next day, I figured they had plenty of time to use my facilities. Who knew their plane would be delayed? oops. We first tried the Emerald Stir Fry with Beef. I couldn't find all of the ingredients so I made due with what I could find fresh, a few frozen versions and some small substitutions. My mom and I made a great team! But really it would have been midnight if she weren't there to help. It was a great meal and even better, we chopped up a few extra veggies, prepped the meat and threw it together (wrapped separately) in the freezer for another night.

The next day Mom and I made Chocolate and Strawberry Stuffed French Toast. Seriously, seriously, seriously good. But I'm usually game for anything that has the word "stuffed" in it. I was just wishing I had that electric griddle (with warming tray) I had asked Santa for. Ahhh well...

Last night I tried out the Four Cheese Baked Penne. Again, anything with "four cheese" in the title can't be half bad. And it was both comfort and health food wrapped into one--all the love without the guilt! yahoo! Lots of extras so we will be having it another night in the near future. Probably tonight.

I'm no expert in the kitchen and I can't say that I've ever loved it, but I do enjoy cooking healthy meals and baking for my family. I just don't always have the time, all the ingredients and the sanity of mind to do everything I want to do. Pretty much the story of my life. It's nice to have some time off to do those things and feel like I might be getting back on track.

I did ask Santa for quite a few things for my kitchen, and while he didn't come through on Christmas day (however, I loved all my gifts!! I will take clothes any day!) he did slip a few dollars in my pocket to spend as I wish. That and an anniversary check from my mom--thanks for the griddle, Mom! Just what I wanted--howdidyouknow?! Now I can make mini pancakes til the cows come home. Through a couple returns, an "owed" Christmas present from Kyle and a few dollars from our "house" budget we also picked up a couple Henckels knives (woa, baby!), bamboo cooking utensils, cutting boards, and the mother of all stock pot/ strainer/steamer thingys. That thing rocks my world. I had the time of my life cooking dinner last night and breakfast this morning--now I know why people enjoy cooking. When you actually have the right--and worthy--untensils it is kinda fun.

What I learned on my Christmas Vacation

2008-12-28T14:49:00.003-05:00

Don't leave Christmas shopping until Dec 22nd. Especially if it's your anniversary, you have a free casino hotel room and a babysitter. Never again.
Finishing shopping on Dec 23rd is no fun either.
Tired, sick 2 year olds are no fun. None.
Patience, patience, patience.
Children act like children because they are...wait for it...children. If you treat them like adults and expect them to act like adults, all they turn into are bossy children. No thanks.
If you buy toys that need batteries, include the batteries.
A simple hug and "I'm sorry" goes a long, long way.
If your belly is full, STOP EATING.
The best part of my Christmas, as always, is watching everyone open their gifts slowly. For 4 hours. Really, I'm not being sarcastic. I honestly love that my family all gathers Christmas morning (parents, kids, aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins) and opens each gift in turn. But parts of me also wish for a simple Christmas morning.
When your Christmas tree falls over on Dec 27th, it may be time to call it. Although a little early this year, we will be clearing out our Christmas gear soon.

And, I haven't even looked at any pictures taken in the past two weeks. But I did just (very quickly) create a few scrapbook pages from all the photo Christmas cards we received. I still had last year's sitting around, so I did those, too. I've been wanting to save my friends' kids' pics and be able to watch the changes from year to year.

2008-12-21T20:09:00.002-05:00

Vonage 1-700-CALL-SANTA.

Consider it 911 for parents with 2 year olds.

ice cream cone cupcakes

2008-12-18T17:13:00.002-05:00

I am writing this as my 2 year old is screaming, “MAMA!” at the top of her lungs. It is 2:19pm—an hour and 19 minutes at least—after her nap time. I may lose my mind while I am writing this. OR, I may just transport myself to a magical land of writing where there are no screaming mini-blondes pleading for some inaudible wish.

As for the real reason for this post today…cupcakes! And no ordinary cupcakes at that—ice cream cone cupcakes! I am a proud child of the 80's where she who has the cool cupcakes is Queen of the Classroom. I have been waiting 25 years to make these bad boys, but feared the level of difficulty. Um, I don't know. I guess it's the fear of the unknown. Cammie turned 4 last week and I finally decided it was time. I may get some real appreciation from these 4 year olds--not like those 3 year olds who may not recognize coolness when they see it.

They were actually really easy to make and decorate. The problem lies in transportation--there's just no good way. If anyone would like to join me in reviving the coolness of these cupcakes and create an ice cream cone cupcake holder--I'm totally in.

PS I don't know about the 4 year olds, but I think I'm kinda awesome.

gettin' jingy with it

2008-12-11T19:34:00.003-05:00

experimenting

2008-12-11T17:40:00.002-05:00

No, not with drugs...or anything exciting--just the blog format. I've decided to write a book; not for public purchase or anything like that, but looking back through the last year and a half I've realized this is really the story about my family. I know that I always love hearing/reading stories about me or to me and I'm sure that my kids will love to read about their lives growing up. I have been searching for a program that will just take my blog and publish it, and while I have found a few, there are always glitches. Some are with the price, some are with the program working properly, etc. I may need to change the format in which I create this blog by maybe creating in something else first and then publishing that to the internet. We'll see...I'll let you know. In the meantime, excuse my inconsistent format--although by now that shouldn't really surprise you.

the perfect tree

2008-12-11T17:35:00.002-05:00

Our search took us far and wide around Niagara County. I looked up places that sell “cut your own” trees on Pick Your Own and found two nearby. We hopped in the van and we were on our way. The first place was a bust. No trees under 20 feet-- though they tried to convince us to cut part of it off to fit. I thought it was too much work and Kyle's inner hippie didn't agree with discarding so much of such an old tree.

The next place had trees a mile walk back to the woods. No thank you. However, on the way to this house, was an unadvertised place (except for the sign in the drive) so we stopped to check it out. It seemed fancy shmancy (as far as cut your own can be and compared to the last two!) with a little sign hanging on the door with all the different types of trees that were available. The woman greeted us and handed us not only a saw, but also a little mat for Kyle to kneel on while cutting--now that’s service. We walked around quite a bit to find “the perfect tree” according to Cameron.

We each had our own ideas of what a perfect tree looked like.

But, in the end we found one that everyone could agree on.

I can't believe how crazy nerdy I look in that picture. Oh well, can't be a super model every day. This was taken right after the lady told us what kind of tree it is. I don't remember the name, only that is the citrus-y smelling one that I may or may not be allergic to. Yea.

Here's the story on all of this...growing up, everyone in my family is allergic to Christmas trees...and everything else. Apparently, it's not really the tree so much as the mold growing on the tree. As an adult, I was bound and determined to get a real tree and at that time realized how wonderful it smelled. It all seemed like that was how Christmas was supposed to be, so for several years we got real trees with no real problems. Until the year we go the citrus tree; my mom left with a sinus infection and I was having some effects from it, too. Last year we resorted to a fake tree (gifted from my favorite aunt--thank you!) but I was really disappointed. My mom won't be staying with us this year, so hey ho! Real tree here we go! Let's just hope we all make it out still breathing...AND for the record--yes, I currently have a sinus infection BUT I've had it since before we got the tree. So there.

hooper pooper

2008-12-05T22:59:00.004-05:00

I wonder what kind of hits I'm going to get with a title like that...I guess it could be worse. I could title it "pooper hooper".

A couple weeks ago I went to a conference for work. Because my group is heavily involved in the planning and facilitating of the conference, activities such as the "gaming through the ages" social event was mandatory.

OK, so hoola hooping wasn't mandatory, but it was just lying there taunting me. That hoop knows that even though I have the hips for it, I have never mastered the hoola.

sometimes you just have to say...

2008-12-03T19:44:00.004-05:00

W.T.F. or...why me?

I have yet another cold (just had one a month ago) kicking my butt all over the place. I decided to head into work for a couple hours this morning. I had a class today and although I had another trainer scheduled to be there, I had some new things I wanted to show them. I was up all night and we were all running late this morning. I flew out the door (no, I didn't lock myself out) and started driving. No, I didn't blow out two tires or hit a deer. I was thinking about my class today and some other meetings I am involved in--and again, I have enough mucus in my head to fill a swimming pool--and completely passed my exit. It wasn't like as I was passing it I realized it...no, I had to be on a bridge way past the point of no return to realize, um, where am I and where am I going?! I got off at the next exit available and turned to get back on the highway. I thought I heard a pop or something as I turned, so I turned the radio off to listen. We JUST had the van in on Saturday to have some work done and $600 later I was feeling like I should be in ship shop shape. Until a red light started flashing and beeping that would startle the poop out of you (or maybe just me) ensued. The light said, "oil pressure low" or aka "stop the shit now or I'll drop your engine right out from under you!" Obviously I pulled over. Hmm...do you smell that? That kinda burney smell? Yes, burney is a word. I made it up today. It's going to be all the rage. Luckily I have not one, but two bosses to call and explain that not only am I a dumbass who spaced out at the wheel (because the first question is always "where are you?") but also that I am going to be a bit late to work today. And hopefully all those perfectly perky teachers who left an unsuspecting substitute in their room will be understanding enough about my situation. Also, did the other trainer show up? While that got sorted out I was on the phone with my Allstate Motor Club (Kyle loves it when I say Motor Club old lady style--according to him) who says, "nope. If you are on the highway or the exit ramp to the highway we can't getcha. You need a special permit. That's Marty's towing, but I don't have his number."

um, thanks?

"But here's the thruway authority number, they can help you."

Yes, except first they disconnected me and then second they--for some unknown reason--couldn't understand EXIT RAMP. I did finally get picked up and my van did get cleaned up and fixed.

Says the Mgr of the place we took it BACK to after having JUST HAD AN OIL CHANGE, " I've never seen anything like it. No oil filter, but it was there because you have driven 200 miles since we had your van in."

Hmmm...AND he didn't charge me a thing. Interesting. So I got all super sleuthy (yes, a word...now) and went back to the scene of the crime. Low and behold there was my *&(*& oil filter on the side of the road. I have never seen one before and imagined it to look like my reusable coffee filter. But it doesn't. This one is similar to mine but was full of stinky, dirty oil. But I picked it up anyway and put it in my van. Evidence! Except I just realized it says "racing development". I do not race the mini van. Not anymore, anyway.

The Mgr still holds to "you better watch who's messing around with your car" and I'm thinking, "yeah,YOU buddy". And that concludes another driving with Miss Mel. I never set out to be so entertaining. Howeva...

I did hear this song on the radio that apparently everyone who's anyone has seen on YouTube (but not me, so maybe not you either?)

I think you should get a chaweiner...that's a small dog

2008-11-30T21:49:00.004-05:00

It feels a little early to being visiting Santa, but December is such a busy month. I know it's busy for everyone, but if you can ever help it--don't get married AND have a baby in the month of December! (Well, and if you can help it--not in the same year--ours were 3 years apart.)

Growing up, we always went to Kelly's Country Store and it's such a great memory for me that we always take our kids there. Umm...I'm getting to the age of my blog where I am repeating myself...yikes. Check here for the background if you are new to this gig. Yeah, so long lines and waiting. I'm not sure I knew or if they ever had Santa visit on the weekend, but this year we decided to try it and since it is early in the season maybe we would have some luck? It was a little better at least. We did wait an hour and a half, but did I mention it's because Santa spends at least a full 5 minutes with each kid? (not just each family, but each kid!) He's a pretty special guy.

We did a lot of prepping for Mikaela, also. We didn't want to have another scream fest. When Santa first appeared she was scared, but she saw other kids sitting on his lap and then two girls from her daycare were there and I think that helped, too. She did great--quiet, but no crying.

And this year..we are SO into the Santa threat, "Santa is watching you! He knows when you are bad or good! You better behave if you want Santa to bring you a gift!" Is it possible to wear this out before it's even December 1st?

Oh yeah, and he's NOT getting a dog...

this is the stuff movies are made of

2008-11-17T19:04:00.004-05:00

...comedies at least.

I was walking out the door this morning thinking how nice it was for my husband to start the car for me and get it all nice and toasty. A few minutes prior I noticed that it started lightly hailing again so I was glad to not have to worry too much about gloves because the car would be warm. Unfortunately, when I got to the car it was neither running, nor warm and toasty. In fact, I suddenly realized the noise I heard was not the car running, but the dehumidifier (probably frozen over) running in the basement. Hmm...and I was locked out of the house. Luckily, this has happened before and I knew that Kyle had hidden a key somewhere in the area. I was a little concerned that my cell phone was on the last leg of its battery, but hopefully it had enough juice to find out from my husband where it was hidden. After waiting a few minutes for his principal to track him down, I said, "tell me quick where is the extra key?! My battery's almost gone." His reply, "on the key ring."

Had I not been locked out of the house, that would be a great place to keep a key. But seeing as I was locked out, I thought...wtf... "oh!" he said, "there's an extra one in the car!"

"The car that is locked?" I replied.

"hmm...I guess you're outta luck," he said.

*&%^!

I had already called our friend who lives a 1/2 mile down the street. I thought I would be in luck since he usually drives past our house at about this time to drop off his daughter at school. Unfortunately on this dismal day, he had already dropped off his kids and was on his way to work. But! Lucky for me! The doors to their house were unlocked and I could walk in and get the key myself. Except...it's a 1/2 mile down the road...and I was wearing my red hot, red high heeled boots. Sorry, no can do. You know, the ones I only where when I am not teaching and won't have to be on my feet so much? yep. So, I walked next door and knocked on their door. My neighbor Aimee is a nurse and work nights, so when their kids said they were sleeping I didn't think it was necessary to wake them. I then walked across the street and knocked on that neighbor's door. They are a retired couple and it was early enough that I didn't knock loud or more than once because I didn't want to wake them either. They never answered. On my way back to my house I contemplated taking the riding lawn mower down to our friend's house. However, Kyle doesn't leave the key outside and I wasn't quite sure I could figure it out anyway. Well, there was my bike...oh, what the heck. So I grabbed my bike and it was still connected to the kid carriage thing on the back. That was entirely too much work for 8am Monday morning, so I grabbed Kyle's bike. For those of you not familiar with my husband--he's 6'3". The man owns a large bike. Anyway, I swung my leg over (hoping to not lose my balance on my fabulous, if not impractical for biking, boots) and headed out of the driveway and down the road. Now, in case you aren't finding this hysterical, picture me with my dress work clothes, high heeled red boots, glasses, long dress coat, and security tag blowing in the wind as I trudge down the road. I had a pretty good speed going until I got to the slight hill. It's amazing how difficult it is to bike in high heels and dress coat on a Monday morning with no coffee in your system. I lost steam. Luckily, it was downhill on the way back.

My only saving grace to not literally blow steam out of my ears like in the old cartoons was the fact that no less than 20 people were laughing their asses off on their way to work. Happy Monday to you all.

tricks and treats

2008-11-03T20:17:00.004-05:00

OK, look at this tiny little seed he pulls out...WHAT ARE YOU AFRAID OF BOY?! DIG IN!!

I love the picture below simply because Kaela and I have the same hairdo!

The Witch, the Ladybug, and Thomas!

Trick or Treat!!

This time last year, I officially fell in love with our town. The whole town gathers at the firehall and parades behind a fire truck down to our one stop light. It's the cutest thing.

Afterwords they serve cider and donuts. We make sure that we go say hello to our neighbor who volunteers for the event and then we go home. I think there is a costume contest and maybe a few other things, but the kids are worn out by that time. And I know Kyle and I are ready to call it a night!

fall photos

2008-10-23T21:03:00.003-04:00

Oh my crap

2008-10-22T21:12:00.004-04:00

All my love, together in one place, and PRINTABLE; oh, and FREE. I'm not sure how this is all going to play out for me. I may not surface for a few years...

Scrapblog

almost everything is boinga here

2008-10-22T19:52:00.002-04:00

Now you can sing it all day, too

your welcome

Lunch

2008-10-21T15:14:00.001-04:00

I know this may seem like I have a lot of time on my hands...

Props to Kyle for the idea when he made "eyes" for dessert last night!

Applesaucin'

2008-10-17T21:04:00.005-04:00

When we moved here last year, I was in awe of the fruit trees in our yard. I'm a suburb girl and never in my life have I had anything even close to fruit trees in my yard! I just thought it was very cool to be able to go out back and pick an apple and eat it. Some people do this with vegetable gardens, but I don't know much about those (at least from personal experience) either. I know it shouldn't seem so strange, but really all of my fruits, vegetables, and yes, even spices just come from the store. And frankly, I've been known to kill a cactus!

This year we were on track to actually pick and eat that fruit! I live in the land of apple trees and grape vines, so pretty much everyone has something in their yard. Heck (that's farm talk), Kyle grew up in the land of fruit trees and had peach orchards in his back yard. He thinks its funny that I've never eaten a fresh apricot. Or mango. And then there was the time I was eating a nectarine at my grandma's house and said, "What is this I'm eating? It's delicious." It's called a nectarine...welcome to the world. I don't know, we weren't big fruit eaters in our family. Grab a banana or an apple and call it a day.

I have fairy tale visions of my kids looking back on their childhood and remembering the women of the family gathering to make applesauce from the fresh apples out back. I want them to smell cinnamon and think of dear old mom slaving over a hot stove making them the best applesauce they have ever eaten. And I will go down as the best mom ever.....fairy tale visions, I tell ya.

Well, just in case they don't quite remember it as I will tell it to them over and over again, here are the pics to prove it did happen. At least once.

what's with the attitude?

2008-10-17T20:43:00.003-04:00

I feel the need to balance the blog out by...well, blogging and not just picture posting...so here goes. Last week I was at the grocery store and on the way home I blew out two tires on a faulty road, had to call a flat bed truck from an hour away, my car battery went dead as a doornail, and my alignment needed to be...realigned. Really. True story. Luckily, my knight in shining armor and his two side kicks saw me on their way home and let me hitch a ride. But, that's not what this post is about. Ha, had ya there didn't I?

So, I'm at the store and I was perusing some grub and walked to where another lady was already pulling out some frozen food. I just stood there and waited for her to finish and watched her kids as she did. I had noticed kind of a weird guy walking around the store and at this time he came near all of us. He had on some scrubby looking clothes, some kind of long scraggly beard, and to be honest, smelled a little. I didn't look at him, but watched the kids' reactions to him. They stopped in their tracks and stared. I guess he was trying pass by all of us in the aisle, but I was too busy watching the kids to notice what he was doing. The older girl (probably about 8 or 9) said to her brother, "move over. When someone wants to get through you have to let them pass us by." The mother looked at the kids and said, "Only if they say excuse me! If they don't say excuse me, you don't move" And then yelled at them to move out of her way.

Hmph. Well, I don't know if she was saying this for me to hear, but I was patiently waiting for her to finish, or for the guy. Either way, I was flabbergasted. Being a teacher, I thought that if those were my students I would have agreed with the girl and said, yes it's polite to move out of someone's way. But this mother was telling them something totally against what I would have instructed. What's a kid to believe? How confusing it must be for kids to hear mixed messages. And how sad it is that the mother has that attitude. And then I blew two tires on the way home.

Open Up and say "ahh"

2008-10-14T21:14:00.003-04:00

Both kids had their first trip to the dentist last week. They were real troopers and their teeth are beautiful! Mikaela still has two teeth to come in.

Happy Birthday, Papa!

2008-10-14T21:03:00.002-04:00

Who's in control

2008-10-09T21:39:00.003-04:00

Both of our kids have been "paci" lovers. Cameron used to love his pacifier as if it were his best friend. Kaela clings to hers for comfort any time of the day. With Cameron we were at least able to leave his in his crib/bed during the day, but Kaela can just run back into her room and grab it. Even if I hide it from her...she just whines for it. So we cut the end of it, as we did for Cameron but unlike Cameron, Kaela refused to put it in her mouth. However, she still clings to it by holding it in her hand when she goes to bed. Quite frankly, I don't care as long as it isn't in her mouth. So we told her a story about the Paci Fairy coming to take all of the paci's away and the only one left was this one with a "big bite" out of it. We had to keep telling her "this is all there is". She accepted it fairly quickly (with several more "this is all there is") and has adjusted really well--I can't complain. Today she must have had it out and about in our house and we were having trouble locating it for nap time. I finally found it and told her that she had better be careful because if we lose this paci, that's all there is. I then asked her for another hug and kiss before bed and she said, "that's all there is Mommy."

Guessing Game

2008-10-09T09:57:00.002-04:00

It always starts the same way...

Me: Cam, what else would you like to eat? [after he has already eaten a day's worth of food for lunch]
Cameron: It's red and it has seeds and it is yummy

OR

Cameron: It has four sides and is crunchy and yummy

OR

Cameron: It's soft and gooey and yummy

OR

Cameron: It's brown and yummy

Me: Can you please just tell me what you want??!!!

Cam's First Person Drawing

2008-10-08T21:18:00.003-04:00

At school they had the kids draw themselves. Now all he does is draw himself. We're going to lie and say that he drew a really cute picture of our whole family, but really they are all Camerons.

Are you tired of staring at the same blog post?

2008-10-08T20:33:00.002-04:00

I know, I know. I wish I could tell you that I lead an extremely exciting life and that I just don't have time to write when I am doing so many exciting things. Things that are so exciting I can't even try to come up with a good lie and make this sound believable. The sad, sad truth is that I have been working almost every night (even though I only work part time...ie get paid for part time work!) But I am a dedicated educator and if I want things done right (um, well, my way) then I guess I have to make some sacrifices. I considered blogging yesterday afternoon, but you know when I only have an hour to do what I want to do, I end up making a list. What needs my attention the most at this moment gets done. Oprah and doing my nails won because I could kill 2 birds. And I always feel better after making my nails look pretty. Such a girly thing.

I have so much to tell you about, but another sad truth is that if I'm not writing as it's happening the humor gets lost in translation. I end up just trying to put it all out there and not always able to capture the moment. So as I am catching up on this past month--and it has been a busy one--I'll try to do better with keeping you up to date with what's happening now. I may try to give the Toddler Twitter a go again because my kids have been coming up with some really funny stuff lately. Case in point: remember the "you're my best friend" thing? Looking back, not sure I posted that, but the "you're my friend" changed to "best friend" somewhere along the line. It is now part of our routine at night, "I love you. You're my best friend." And Kaela says it, too. Only today while Kyle was driving home Kaela said, "[Daddy] I'm your best friend." She's got a mind of her own. Look for the Twitter quotes on the right to re-appear.

Celtic Festival, Olcott, NY 2008

2008-09-21T20:36:00.010-04:00

I have to say, this was the highlight of all the summer festivals. Of course, anything with animals is a hit with the kids.

Seriously, look at this kid...(ha)

Then there was a bit of competition, but I think Cameron had this guy.

And Kaela...she's a tough cookie, I'm sure she can beat the guy in the skirt.

Painted the Blarney.

And my favorite part...BIG BUBBLES! I really don't know what it was, but I beat out all the little kids so I could stand there and play in bubbles. I'm not ashamed, but I did let Cam have a turn. You know, try to teach him sharing and all...hmph...

Last, but certainly not ever the least of WNY festivals...the food. We sampled one, and then two more Scottish eggs. But the favorite was the Guiness ice cream. I might follow these Lake Effect guys from festival to festival--just call me a snow head. Ice head?

Where were you...

2008-09-11T10:22:00.004-04:00

Growing up I have always heard people talk about where they were when Kennedy was shot, or MLK, Jr, or other moments that stand out in history. I have a couple to share within my lifetime thus far, but why are they not ever good moments? Maybe that will change with the outcome of the upcoming presidential election. I'm sure I'll be sitting in front of my tv, but at least I can say that I remember the moment, the feeling, the sense that history was changing before my eyes when either the first black American president was elected or the first woman vice president was elected. While I do have my own political opinion, I'm pretty excited that either way change is before us. While the US tends to pride itself on being the first, the strongest, bravest, smartest...well, we are way behind the times in our beliefs of who would make a great leader of our country. Anyway, historical moments in my lifetime (thus far):

The Challenger: I was in 5th grade, sitting at my desk watching it unfold on tv. I think there was some sort of announcement in school. That year, my teacher made us read an article from the newspaper and write a paragraph summarizing it every week. I remember writing about the Challenger crew. I also wrote a poem about the event and it got published in some district booklet or something.

OJ Simpson trial: I was in college walking to class and I heard yells coming from some of the buildings. I think some were cheering and some were...in disbelief.

Sept 11: I was teaching 8th grade science and another teacher came to my door to tell me what happened. It didn't hit me at first how serious the situation was--did it really occur to anyone what the devastation could possibly be? I turned on the tv and we watched a small portion. After a while I was unsure of the appropriateness and decided we had seen enough and turned it off. Of course, it was all we could think about. Parents were picking up their kids. Somehow we made it through the day, but I was worried about Kyle and how I was going to get home. At that time we were living in Niagara Falls, Ontario and I was working in the US. They closed the borders and there was no way for me to get home. I have family here, so I wasn't so concerned about where I was going to go, but more so the fact that all I wanted to do was be with Kyle. It hit me hard about the seriousness of living and working in separate countries. They did eventually open the border that evening and I was able to get home. I remember clinging to Kyle and not wanting to let go. I remember being glued to the tv and not being able to tear myself away, even though there was no new news I just had to keep watching. The stories of people who were there and survived, the people whose relatives did not survive, searching for survivors, the tales of heroism that unfolded...it was overwhelming. Some of the stories that really stuck with me were of the women who were pregnant and their spouses had died. At the time I was a couple months away from getting married and thinking about a family of my own. For months after I kept thinking about those women having to deal with the death of their spouse, raising children, and giving birth all on their own. I can't imagine how devastating that would be.

However, most of all I was left with a sense of patriotism and togetherness that I hadn't ever felt before. This moment was tragic, and yet I felt like we as Americans had all been bonded together by this terrible event. We all shared this moment; we felt it, we were hurt by it. At the same time we leaned on each other, picked each other up, and grew from it.

And when all is said and done that is what I want passed on to my children: hope.

subscribe, be a fan, pledge your undying love

2008-09-11T08:45:00.002-04:00

I haven't messed around with the layout of my blog lately, but when I was reading my Google Reader blogs I noticed a post about a new Blogger function called Follower. I checked out the new features and added them on the right. Notice you can now subscribe easily as well as profess yourself as one of my followers. I expect both of you to add yourselves...

Crocodile, Lizard, and Toe Frog

2008-09-09T20:05:00.004-04:00

Invisible friends are almost a rite of passage through childhood. I personally, never had any but you know lots of others out there know what I'm talking about. But...what about invisible pets? And I haven't been able to pinpoint what a toe frog is, but I have a feeling Diego put him up to this.

The Daily Plate

2008-09-04T20:27:00.002-04:00

This site ROCKS. I created a spreadsheet last year to track all of my food and exercise. It's cumbersome to put all of the info in that I want (calories, fat, protein, carbs, sugar) so I rarely use it. I was just thinking today that I really need to get back to tracking my food and lo and behold: The Daily Plate on Livestrong. It's easier than my homemade version because it already has many foods included with all of the nutritional information. All you have to do is choose what you ate, enter your activity for the day and it does everything for you! It really doesn't get any easier than this. Unfortunately, I realized that my calories are WAY under for today. Normally, you'd think that wouldn't be so bad except that I was warned by my trainer (and if you watch Biggest Loser you know) that too few calories actually makes you lose the lean muscle mass you are trying to build. It was a crazy day and I just didn't have time to sit down and eat until dinner--and that was a light one.

It also allows you to make your charts public....I'm not ready for that step yet. Not that anyone cares, but you know, just in case, it would be kind of weird to have people checking up on my eating habits.

granola, chocolate, coconut, almonds...oh my!

2008-09-04T14:52:00.002-04:00

THE best cereal evahh. Watch the cals, but it is worth every single one.

routine

2008-09-02T21:14:00.002-04:00

Historically, I would not call myself a routine type of girl. I have always prided myself in being "fly by the seat of my pants" kind of person. Or at least, I aspired to be. I used to keep a tent in the trunk of my car because you just never knew when you would have to have a spur of the moment camp ready. I always liked that idea, and I think it even came in handy one time.

Now that I am the mother of two young children, stay home part time, work part time, and have to be responsible I take comfort in our routine. Today was a day that many parents across the land (well, New York state) happily sent their kids off to school. I sadly sent my husband out the door and hence, commenced our routine for the 2008-2009 school year. Being that we are both teachers our years start in Sept and end in August. And ever since I have known Kyle, I always become quite sad that once again we have to spend our days apart. Don't get me wrong, we need our space like everyone else, but we have always been able to spend a lot of time together and be ok (No mr and mrs smith here). I'm also a bit saddened that this also means that I have to take on a new workout schedule and began today with my 5am wake up to workout. Luckily, Mikaela woke us up at 4:30am so I was already awake before the alarm even went off. I love when that happens. No, not really. Don't worry, 5am is absolutely the earliest I will wake up. I refuse and have total belief that it is without a doubt absurd and inhumane to have to wake up before 5am. I just don't think it should be done. Especially just to go to the gym.

I quickly got to work today and baked some PB & J muffins (I miss baking!), made pancakes (Cameron = panpakes) for breakfast, and headed outside to continue the damn gardening. That's right I said it. Hmmm..speaking of gardening. I finally chopped down the small forest of oregano outside and...left it there. Think it will keep overnight? I just want to dry it. And give it to 100 of my closest family and friends. Then have a little left over for Christmas gifts. Kidding, but there is a ton. I even used some of it for the first time when I made dinner at 1pm this afternoon! And actually, that's really all I got done was trimming the oregano. That and putting the kids in time out 2-3 times each. That's right, Mommy's back in charge and it's my way or the highway. Don't even bother with those cute little smiles and tilting of the head. I will turn away before I give in!! I even did laundry and sorted some of the clothes in my closet. THEN I took a shower, folded clothes and fell over dead from exhaustion. Fortunately, that was unacceptable to my children so I had to get up to answer the "I'm awwaaaake" calls from Cameron's top bunk. Have I mentioned that Cameron sleeps in the top bunk of his new bed? We don't let him get up and down on his own so now we hear "I'm awaaaaake" every morning. I'm training him to get up and down on his own this very instant. Tomorrow I go to the paying job, which at least I get to sit down for several hours at a time, but ugh I sit for several hours at a time. I always leave there bloated and with a headache. I wonder if there's a correlation.

So, as Kyle so aptly put it, "I'm so disappointed that there aren't more hours in the day" and I will head off to bed. I'm sure I will be asleep before the raccoons even have a chance to let us know they are mating.

I'm keeping my eye on you

2008-08-26T21:30:00.003-04:00

You know I love the free local events

2008-08-26T21:15:00.006-04:00

Every year we say that we are going to do a few things around town that we loved as kids. The Toronto Zoo, African Lion Safari, and Fantasy Island are all close by. After checking websites we realized that the entrance fees are crazy expensive and at ages 2 & 3 were they really going to remember whether or not we went? Enh, let's wait until they are older and do something...free. Hey, how about the farm festival?!

ocean city, maryland 2008

2008-08-26T20:45:00.004-04:00

The kids were scared of the ocean. They must be used to quiet Lake Ontario because the waves were way too much for them. On the last day, Kyle was able to take Cameron in a bit, but Mikaela dug holes into my arm when I walked in with her.

They had a blast digging in the sand and looking for shells.

Our campsite.
The campground had a small waterpark with an awesome kids area. Mikaela went crazy and didn't hesitate.
On our last night, we went out for a traditional Blue Maryland Crab dinner. The first thing Cameron said when we sat down to the server was, "I don't like crab".

Mikaela just had a great time banging the crap out of the crab.

Sleeping was...interesting, non-existent, and really not so bad. The kids naps didn't always happen, but when they finally conked out they were out. Mikaela slept on the ground half the time and just didn't want to stay in her blow up sleeping bag.

Sure there were a few ups and downs. There was even a night where Kyle and I had to each hold up a side of the tent because of a storm. We stayed dry, had a lot of great family time, and were also glad to come home to our own beds.

Best Packaged Foods

2008-08-18T21:17:00.002-04:00

Ok, here's a little something for ya. I was reading my Women's Health mag (my fav) and they wrote an article about the best packaged foods. Of course, anything fresh is so much healthier for you, but sometimes you need something quick, easy, or on the go. I hopped online and found a printable version of this list: http://www.womenshealthmag.com/files/pdfs/125BestFoods.pdf

The only thing missing from this version vs the magazine article is that the mag has little dots to indicate why it is healthier (for your heart, for weight, etc). Some of these foods aren't the best choices if you are watching your weight.

Most of the information found in the mag can be found online at: www.womenshealthmag.com

olympic hiatus

2008-08-18T20:44:00.004-04:00

No really, I do write a blog...in my spare time. I know, it's not looking like much and quite frankly I just can't get around to posting about our vacation or the other crazy things going on. Like, we went to a farm festival yesterday...and ooh and awwed over tractors. Really.

So, sorry I've been way too busy watching the Olympic marathon. Because what could possibly be more exciting than watching a marathon. Wait, oh yes, they are still running. Admittedly, toward the end it was exciting. The middle parts, well, not so much. And now gymnastics are over and Michael Phelps is taking over the world.

And then there's the complete exhaustion going on. I think my eating is not up to par and with all the working out I've been doing (yea me) I have been tired from about 2pm on. Stay tuned...

I'm still here!

2008-08-11T20:19:00.002-04:00

Was on vacation for a couple weeks and am trying to get back into the swing of things. I have a few posts circulating in my head, the vacation one half done ( have to get pics up) and we decided to jump into re-doing the kids rooms. Besides that I have been watching the Olympics non-stop, which is kind of weird. I am not a sports person, I don' t watch sports and I have never participated in sports. But I love the olympics! Just realized I have trashy campground toes right now--must do a pedicure before work tomorrow!

The was a little girl...

2008-07-23T20:08:00.001-04:00

who had a little curl, right in the middle of her forehead.

My weekend

2008-07-22T19:52:00.003-04:00

Last weekend some of my friends from high school came to visit. It's been quite a while since they were here, and now they brought kids so we were very excited. Nothing can replace getting together with the girls that know you and love you the most.

I clearly remember sitting around the lunch table in high school and each of us talking about what we were going to do with our lives. All of our plans....funny how things turn out. I had a plan--it was to go to school for business, graduate and live in a large city like NYC for a few years, live at least 1 year by myself, get married, have kids. I changed my major before I even got to college (and then 4 more times after that) graduated in Sociology of all things opposite of business and after visiting a friend living in Manhatten, wanted nothing to do with it. I also wasn't so keen on living by myself for any amount of time. I like having people around, especially after watching Fire in the Sky. But that's a whole other post for another time.

I'm sure that my friends' plans were different or similar I don't know--we didn't really talk about that this time around. I know that there are lots of things in all of our lives that we didn't plan for, but I think that each of them has handled themselves with grace and dignity and I hope the same can be said for me.

So here are a few pics of the kids, since I was threatened with bodily harm if I post any pics of the girls. We actually didn't get a group shot of us, which just goes to show you what life is all about these days. So here are the little punks:

No, we did not consult each other on the shoe purchase. Apparently, all boys this age love Lightening McQueen.

Do you know how hard it is to get 5 kids (well, not really Lexi--she's pretty stationary) to stay still in the rain?? I just cropped out Kyle and Lisa standing on the sidelines yelling at them to stay still :)

Exercise update

2008-07-22T19:14:00.002-04:00

I did not make it out that next day. I had a late night with the Direct TV customer service and after 80 minutes, 4 different service reps, 1 supervisor, and 1 cancellation representative I finally got my second DVR for $19.95 shipping and handling fees. This was compared to the $250 the service reps and supervisor had told me I would have to pay. FYI, we just cancelled Dish and went to Direct and when cancelling Dish they offered me free HBO, etc for so many months and when I still said no then they offered me $10 off my bill for 10 months. They really like their customers!!

Anyway, I didn't make it out on Wednesday or whenever it was but I did make it out on Friday. And boy did my legs hurt the next day! Just not used to jogging I guess. The other downer is that I can't get the Nike+ thing to work. I'll have to call about that, but until then I have just been using that Podrunner podcast to help keep the pace and I love it! I don't have to watch the time or think about it--just run when it tells me! So far 2 days of jogging intervals, 1 day of Tae Bo (ha, ha), and lots of treadmill/elliptical minutes. Yea me.

Thursday I get a re-check on my BMI and measurements. It will have 3 weeks of working out and 9 days with my trainer. And a word about a trainer...it's pricey for sure. I love the workout and I totally think it's worth it, however this money is not coming out of my pocket. Every year we are given a health fund through work that will reimburse us for certain types of health and medical expenses. Lucky for me it includes working out and training so this is how I pay for it. It's not going to last much longer and I will be really sad when it runs out. Hopefully, I will be able to continue on my own and keep up the pace. I just love that he makes me work so much harder than I can make myself, he thinks of the exercises, and he makes sure that I am doing them all correctly and not injuring myself.

A few funny stories thus far: I am a total fool. The first day I walked in to the gym it had been a couple weeks since I had a quick tour. I couldn't remember where the locker room was and I totally walked into a closet. Some weight lifter guy was standing right there as I did it.

Chris, the trainer from hell, made me do squat thrusts. Remember those from high school? I hated them then too...the exercise room was being used so there I was out on the floor for the whole gym to see me attempt these damn things--with weights!! At the beginning I was struggling to thrust my legs all the way back and by the end I could barely stand myself up. It was torture and I hated it every second. Weight lifter guy? Yeah, he was totally laughing right beside me.

Another day I went to hop on the elliptical and couldn't get it working. There was a plug out and I wondered whether I should plug it in? At this time of the morning there really aren't any employees around so weight lifter guy was there and I asked his opinion--plug it in? He didn't know--as clueless as I was.

The next time I went in I forgot my work clothes. Had to go all the way home or go to work naked--or stinky. Did everyone a favor and went home.

Today I saw weight lifter guy again. I think he is my friend. He must feel my pain somehow, but not really. He said "hi".

Another guy, I briefly spoke with about the broken elliptical, is very overweight. But he is there and he is working out and working hard. I am so proud of him every time I see him and have now secretly dubbed him my "biggest loser."

Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice

2008-07-21T15:41:00.002-04:00

Last week we went over to my aunt and uncle's house to hang out and have dinner. They didn't happen to be there at the time, but we were in the area and it was dinner time so we decided to enjoy their house without them.

When we arrived we did the usual grab everything and everybody out of the car and head in to get things settled and ready. On my way in I caught a glimpse of something sitting on the ledge of their enclosed porch. Let me first tell you about this ledge. This ledge has seen it all. I love it and it reminds me of when I was little and wanted to be cool and sit on the ledge with the big kids. It's fairly low so you can sit on it, rest your drink, put a plant...whatever. It's really a great little thing. So I'm getting things ready in the connecting kitchen and I hear Kaela's drinking something! And I rushed out (I hadn't given her anything to drink) and saw that she drank from a plastic cup sitting on the ledge. I asked her in a very loud and alarmed voice, "what did you drink? Did you drink this?" And she just looked at me, stunned. I looked in the cup and all I could see were beetles floating. I first felt relief because it looked like water and some bugs--so gross yes, but hopefully not poison. But wait, there are bugs floating!! I gave a quick call to my uncle and yes, it was only soapy water and Japenese beetles. None were eaten--at least she wasn't chewing when I stunned her. She screamed and cried--I guess I really scared her--but other than that she is fine. Ahh motherhood.

cardio my ass off

2008-07-17T20:46:00.003-04:00

gym membership...check
trainer...check
sore muscles so bad that I waddle when I walk...check, check, check
cardio....

...ok I suck at cardio. I hate it. I have no problems working with a trainer, lifting weights being sore, but the cardio is all on my own. I work out on Tues and Thurs mornings before work and on Saturday mornings, so on the work days I am rushing off. Sorry, Chris, no time for cardio now!! Saturday I was forced by shame to stay and do some cardio but after killer walking lunges with weights...I was hanging on the treadmill and/or elliptical for dear life. Then I went to dinner with some friends from Stroller Strides that I haven't seen in quite a while. I was shocked to see one of them walk in looking fabulous and buff. Apparently, the Striders have picked up the pace and some of them have started running. Those bitches. Damn...now I have to run. One problem--I am so not a runner. I'm the girl in high school when everyone was training for the track team joined up because...well, who knows what the hell I was thinking. I've never been athletic. Anyway, I recall one practice where we had gotten about 4oo yards away from the high school and I thought I was dying from cramps. My loyal friend, Lisa, went back to the coach with me and explained the problem. HE said (sort of sheepishly), " I totally understand." Suddenly I realized he thought we mean period cramps. I wanted out of it so badly I went along with it. "Yes, menstrual cycle....cramping...very painful...must stop running...forever." I ended up as the co-stats girl along with Jenny, who later fainted when I didn't show up to a track meet. Literally. Sorry, Jenn. I was not about to stand out in that cold, rainy weather. I'm sure I had very important (boys) things going on.

I am determined to make this exercising thing count. I was pretty successful at losing weight over the course of a year after Mikaela was born. I've gained about 9ish lbs since March (argh, fudge), so that plus the extra 25 I still wanted to lose...well, I've got some work ahead of me. Let's-go-car-di-o.

I borrowed Kyle's Nike+ iPod thing and have myself all set up. I found the couch to 5k website and a very cool podcast from podrunner with intervals. I'm all set. All I have to do is...do it. Tomorrow is day 1--will I make it? Will I get up early enough to get a cooler run in (not really cool with the humidity around here lately)? Will this sore throat that has suddenly come on (for real) go away? Will I ever lose the 30ish lbs? Tune in to find out...and kick my ass if I don't--you have my permission.

Very Cheeky

2008-07-15T15:04:00.002-04:00

You name it!

2008-07-15T14:58:00.004-04:00

Now over at Pioneer Woman she does quite a few "Give this picture a name" contests. While I don't intend to go that route (I'm not a photographer by any means), I can't help but imagine what types of captions could be created for this picture:

Any ideas? Put them in the comments section below. I'm living with this 2 year old--I have quite a few words, but I'll keep them to myself for now. Sorry, I don't have any prizes except my love and appreciation...awww.

Family Fun Fest 2008

2008-07-07T15:16:00.005-04:00

My cousin, Mike and his family have decided to make a yearly trip to the WNY area every year for the Fourth of July. And when any family rolls into town we make sure that we smother them until they are so sick of us they don't want to see us for another year...or at least a couple weeks. I absolutely LOVE it when my entire family gathers. I have always loved the feeling of a huge family, so when we do it big I am in my glory. Another light in my life--babies. I love me some babies! So, wasn't I tickled pink when I found out that my brother and his newborn baby girl, Misha, were driving in for the fun.

The fun kicked off with my mom flying in for a whole week (!) and Mike arriving the next day. Cameron has been aching for Mike's son Mark (age 5) to get here so we were pretty excited to see everyone. Mom got a super professional big expensive camera for her birthday so I believe all of these shots are compliments of her. I can't say that I picked up a camera even once this week...

We went to the park/beach one day

Lots of playing

It was a busy week and we loved it. We're exhausted, but well worth it.

Now, on to the business of the craziness in my head: I need some EASY, fast, yummy (nutritious?) recipes for camping. Keep in mind we will be camping at the beach, so anything gooey and hot will not make the cut. Throw in some ideas for beach snacks and lunch and I will love you forever. Anything that can be prepared and kept for a few days in advance, I just might marry you. PLEASE, please, PLEASE send some ideas my way!! Any other tips for making life a little bit easier when you are camping and beaching it for 7 days with two toddlers is most certainly appreciated. Except for "don't do it".

Who is this kid?

2008-06-24T21:17:00.007-04:00

Because I really thought that he might be this kid:

But I don't know...

All I know is the Ladies aren't going to be happy. Two months...that's all. He's got a lot of hair:

And it's hot outside! I used my foot for perspective, not to show off my sexy red pedicure. Apparently Cameron appreciates it because he took this photo:

note to my younger self

2008-06-22T20:45:00.002-04:00

While driving to my spa day I somehow started thinking about turning 33 and how at this point in my life I feel pretty confident in knowing who I am and how I lead my life. When I was in high school I had all the hopes and dreams of a young person--not much of the worry--and so even then was not so bad. Once I got to college something changed. Somewhere between 18-23 I got a little lost. I think that a lot of people do and I wish that I could speak to everyone this age and tell them that it will be ok. Don't worry so much. Don't drink so much. Don't think too much. Do what makes you happy and follow your heart--everything else will fall in place.

Nothing during those 5 years really made a lot of sense to me. I was looking for meaning, looking for love, and felt all the pressure of trying to figure out who I was and what the heck I was going to do with myself. I didn't get it right--as far as figuring out what to do with myself. Well, not in the love department either. But that's a whole other post. I had more majors than I can count--nothing seemed to fit. The only thing I knew for sure, was that I wanted to work with kids. In what capacity, I had no idea. I knew that money didn't mean a whole lot to me, but I wasn't sure since I couldn't say that my parents were poor. Maybe it didn't mean much because we always seemed to have enough (not a lot, but enough) and once I didn't have it would I be sorry? I took a chance on believing that money wasn't going to make me happy. I did figure out that I had to do something that I loved or I would never get out of bed every day.

I (eventually) graduated college feeling as lost as ever. I had a degree in Sociology, which essentially meant I was qualified for nothing unless I went to grad school. A year earlier I had met with a social worker at Children's Hospital (my dream job) who said, "don't do it". And he meant it. I believed him and didn't.

Slowly, I did figure it out. I listened to that little voice--you know the one that you spend so much time trying to hush? Turns out that voice was me and was leading me to happiness. I followed my heart--even though it was hard and scary, but I pressed on and have never regretted it once. You see, I think that's the thing. If you listen to your heart you'll never go wrong. It's really you saying those things--some say it's God--I say (and you may think this is weird, but read Eat, Pray, Love if you don't understand) same thing. And no, I haven't finished that book yet, but I will. I almost never leave a book unfinished. Is everything always going to be perfect if you follow that voice? No, it's not, but it will be what you willed to happen, so it won't be wrong.

So, what would I say to my younger self?

Dear Me,

Hi, I love you. It seems kinda silly to say it, but I do. I just wanted to put that out there first. You need a little guidance and want to know what is in store for you. I don't want to ruin the surprises so I'll just give you the gist of life. Well, it won't be easy, but it will be ok. You will have fulfillment, love, success, heartbreak, and happiness. You will have the life you always wanted. Just listen a little more closely to me--that little voice deep down. Have faith in yourself. And know that the best days are yet to come.

PS Don't be so surprised when people describe you as "strong." You are; maybe you don't feel that strong, but you are and you will need that strength to get through some rough times. But, you will get through it and you will be the better for it. Eventually, you'll be able to let your guard down and let others be strong for you. Having--and knowing that you have--amazing friends and family to hold you up when you need it most is amazing.

PSS Nose rings don't work for people with allergies.
Love,
Me

You say it's your birthday

2008-06-22T20:29:00.002-04:00

I overheard Cameron's teacher saying that Sunday (today) is her birthday--hey, mine too! I also heard her say her mom's was the 19th--hey, mine too! That's just weird. She thought the weird coincidence (not irony--thanks Alanis for teaching us all that valuable lesson) might carry over to us being the same age. Did I mention that I kissed her? I just love 27 year olds...but I don't love the 16 year olds who don't card me anymore. Come on, I've got a baby face! Oh, actually that is my baby.

I got the best birthday gift, evaaah: spa day! Four hours of pure pampering and some awesome food and wine. I do have to tell you though...wine and massages really don't mix. I rarely drink so you could say my tolerance is pretty low. I had one glass of wine and kept munching down some deliciously cheesy (white!) breadsticks to soak it up, but they didn't do much. After my massage I stood up and asked who was moving the house?! And then I had that crazy massage hair and my eyes were all half closed...quite the sight. However, I was a trooper; chugged a glass of water and moved on to the facial. My first ever and it was all wonderful until--pow! Bright light city...nothing like some lights and a magnifier to make you feel a little self conscious. And then...pinch, pinch, squeeze, squeeze, (nose) HOLY SHIT! Good thing she massaged for a 1/2 hour because damn that hurt.

I really wanted to have a photo of the big 3-3. I even took my camera with us to dinner (date night!) And as I pulled it out thinking to ask the server to take our picture...I saw a guy across from us clicking and flashing away. He looked so dorky and the flash was so annoying that I just couldn't bring myself to do it. You'll just have to use your imagination.

my favorite healthy soup

2008-06-17T15:16:00.003-04:00

Even though it's summer, I need something easy and yummy to eat for lunches. And if you work (or live) in a freezer like I do, soup is doable. Actually, it's needed in order to thaw out. Here's the recipe for Texas Black Bean Soup. Enjoy!

Dear Internet,

2008-06-16T19:43:00.004-04:00

It's not that I don't love you. I do. It's me, not you, I swear. Here's the thing...it turns out I actually do have a life when there's no snow on the ground. Granted, much of said life has been spent pulling weeds (argh) that are now growing back (double argh) because we haven't done anything to prevent them from growing back. Anyway, life is actually interesting around here. You would like it. I would love for us to continue our relationship, but I know it's difficult as you like to stay indoors. So, dear sweet internet, I may not call upon you as often as I used to. Or you may find me gone for several days, only to realize that when I return I have a lot to say and must multi-post to get it all out. I hope you can forgive me. In the meantime, check out what I've been up to:

Our first fire party of the year (um, or ever).

OK, Internet. Just because I said I needed some space doesn't make it ok for you to deny me my upload. I NEED my upload. Really, it's what makes this blog interesting or well, tolerable. It's really why I started this relationship. I'll give you some time to think it over. I hope that we can work through this and continue our relationship, because quite frankly if I don't have you..well, I will actually have to mail pictures and letters. And that makes you a cheap date--so stick with me!

note: apparently Internet has forgiven me and finally allowed me to upload my pics. It's a rocky relationship, but I think we'll get through it...

If it ain't broke than don't try to fix it

2008-06-10T10:29:00.004-04:00

It rained last night and this morning. What a cool relief! Rachel at The Simple Family reminded me of my FAV summer song. Picture six teens driving through a Pittsburgh suburb park with the top down on a Chrysler LeBaron. Yes, all six of us piled into one vehicle, even if that meant that two were in the front passenger seat. Even if there were 3 of us, two were always in the front passenger seat. Those were dangerous times.

A green thumb I do not have

2008-06-08T20:00:00.003-04:00

I have been known to kill a cactus. I have never really had much interest in gardening except maybe a slight curiosity about vegetable gardening. I think it's pretty cool to cultivate your own food. I have never tried it myself, but would like to some day. Except for all that work. Which brings me to my weekend.

I knew when I bought this house I would have some caretaking to do. I knew somewhere in my head that it was going to be a big job. It didn't really sink in as to what the hell I got myself into until this weekend. I hit the dirt and hit it hard. Kyle and I took a walk around our property talking about all of the plans we had and I was completely overwhelmed. How would we ever find time to do this? Or anything else in our lives since it apparently will be spent entirely in our yard. And quite frankly, I don't hate gardening...I think pretty flowers are cool. But there are many other things that I would rather spend my time doing.

Anyway, this weekend. Pretty much I cleared one flower bed. ONE. I have too many to count, but I got one cleared of hundred of thistles. And then I broke out into some weird red spotty stuff. I am an outdoors girl, so I do keep a look out for poison ivy and I don't think I saw any. Never the less, my arms were covered in red spots. My mom, the nurse, told me to scrub immediately--now--with soap, water, and washcloth. I did as I was told--for once in my life--and the spots were gone by this morning. Of course I had to go out and finish that bed today and the same thing happened. I guess next time long sleeves?

The weather was quite warm here in WNY, so forget the long sleeves. It hit 87 Friday and 84ish today. Let me tell you about that sun though--hot as balls. Yep, I said it. BALLS. I guess next year I will have to start earlier. It's really hit or miss around here though. It's either cold or hot. There is no mild, in-between temperature.

The count so far is 3 flower beds down (Kyle and I tackled the other two last week) and at least 6 more to go. Seriously. Maybe I'll be done by fall.

Other news that you don't care about...I am a serious neighbor watcher. If you are my neighbor, watch out because I'm watching what's going on. I'm not like snoopy, or weird window lady, but if I see weird cars or people hanging around I keep my eye out. I guess I am a one-woman neighborhood watch. Since I don't live in a neighborhood I don't really have that much to watch. The house next door has two rentals and there has been some activity over the last 9 months. People moving in and out. Today a family moved in and I am excited to get to know them. I introduced myself and found out that they have 3 kids ages 9, 4, and 2. I haven't met the wife or the two younger kids yet and don't know anything besides that they are "temporarily" moving in. But it should be interesting having toddlers and preschoolers around.

We blew up the pool that my mom gave Kaela for her birthday--it was a huge hit! We liked it because it has a canopy over top, they like it because it rains from the canopy.

And the cars are always a big hit. We don't have a paved driveway, so the grass is pretty tough to get around. If you can hitch a ride with someone at least sitting in one place is a little more interesting.

Last thought...Cam was just yelling from his room. Sometimes he is just so darn cute I don't know what to do with myself. See that window in the picture right above the canopy to the left? Both of those windows are in his room and his bed overlaps the left one a bit. He's not used to having the windows open so tonight as I was cleaning up the pool, he stuck his head out and said, "hello", but in a funny voice that doesn't translate in text. I had to turn away to laugh and then turn back to sternly tell him to go to bed. So, yelling from his room tonight ...I went down and he was concerned that his night light wasn't on. I had to explain it was still light out and when it got darker it would turn on. Turned out, it just wasn't pushed in all of the way so he was happy and jumped back into bed. He was just so young and innocent throwing himself in there. I just want him to stay little forever. But then I quickly thought...ok, maybe not but I will be sad when he no longer wants me to come and check his night light for him.

Oh Shift

2008-06-04T19:46:00.003-04:00

I am truly enjoying spending time with my kids. I have always enjoyed them--for the most part--but life with a 2 and 3 year old can be...hectic.

Cameron (3 1/2) has come a long way. He is completely potty trained (except for night--still working on that one), is dressing and undressing himself and generally likes to do things for himself. He has quite the insight on situations and really says the funniest things. When he says them, I always want to write about them but it just doesn't translate over text. You really just have to be there and hear him say it.

When we first had Cameron evaluated for speech, his report said that he didn't interact with other people at daycare very much. We became quite concerned and started talking to him about school, his friends, and his teachers at night. Our bedtime routine has always included reading books in bed, but now we added a talk session. He started saying, "let's talk" at night. It has become my favorite time of day to just hear what he has to say and have some quiet moments together.

Mikaela (2) is quite the little spitfire. She certainly has a personality all her own, but she also tries to do things like her big brother. She started using the potty a couple months ago and has been pretty consistent at home. No, she's not potty trained yet, but if I keep feeding her tiny marshmallows she just might be soon. She is also learning to dress herself--of her own accord. She just needs to get the hang of putting her shirt on the top, rather than on her legs.

Kaela has always been full of song. Her first words were sung, "eeiii eeeiii ooo". She sings when she wakes up, when she is doing a task, when she is eating, and when she goes to bed. She also likes to shake her booty when she feels the time is right. The girl has got some moves. She knows how to work a crowd and can bring a 6'3" man to his knees with one cutsie face. No matter how much he tries to deny it.

When I think back to where we were in our lives a year ago, or even 6 months ago it's an amazing difference. I feel like we have a bit more freedom with our lifestyle, I can enjoy the kids in a different, more interactive way. And the kids interact with each other differently. They are very protective of each other and openly show affection. On the flip side, they openly hit, yell, and fight. But that's what learning how to work with other people is all about, right?

I miss the baby stages--I have always been a baby lover, but I'm really looking forward to this new phase of our lives.

note: I wrote this a few days ago and was trying to take some cute pics of the kids to post. There was no cooperation. They decided to stand directly in front of the camera--touching the camera--and saying "cheese". Who taught them to say that? Now every time there is any sort of electronic device in the vicinity they are "cheesing" it up. Forget the casual cute shots.

Misha

2008-05-31T21:43:00.005-04:00

My brother and sister-in-law are the proud parents of a BEAUTIFUL baby girl:

I can't wait to hold and kiss her...

Memorial Day Weekend

2008-05-31T21:05:00.008-04:00

Between mood swings, I've barely had time to breathe. However, life goes on and we were busy this past week!

We had a great visit with Yaya and Grandpa Don and enjoyed a sunny Saturday in Lewiston.

We attended Sophia's 2nd birthday party...

And went to the Memorial Day Fair in our town, where Emily, Max and Cameron got their faces painted.

It was nap time for Mikaela, so she had to settle for a fudgesicle. And I had to use a half bottle of Totally Toddler on her clothes.

"F"ing Good Day

2008-05-31T20:36:00.004-04:00

The forecast for the whole weekend is RAINY. Oh how disappointing. We got up today and just felt like doing something. We made a spur of the moment decision and decided that we all needed some fresh air and Fun.

We headed out to a nearby state park--another reason why we love this area: 3 state parks within 10 minutes. We got a little exercise in, watched some soccer practice (Cam is excited to start!), and played on a great playground. It was exciting to see that the kids were able to finally navigate a playground on their own without much help from us. I usually find myself following behind them with my hands up in the air, waiting for the inevitable fall. We walked around the park some more and went down to the lake. It was beautiful by this time, with perfectly mild weather. Before we left I grabbed a couple Lunchables I had picked up the other day, so the kids had a little picnic. It was a perfect day and exactly what I needed...

Family, Fun, and Free.

Mother-Daughter Fudge Fest

2008-05-21T19:42:00.003-04:00

I don't know if I resorted to spoonfuls of hot fudge out of the jar because of PMS or the fact that I had my post D&C dr appt today. Either way, I was hunting--fiercely--for some chocolate and the only thing I could find was the left over hot fudge. And it tasted like heaven. However, I got busted. Mikaela walked in and was ready and willing to follow suit. I tried to give her just the tip of the spoon for a taste, but that chip off the old block wrapped her little two year old mouth around that whole tablespoon. (Um, yeah I was eating it with the BIG spoon. Why waste time??) I made her pinky swear not to tell her brother and wiped her mouth of all evidence. Then we did the evil witch cackle laugh as Kyle shivered with fear in the corner. Not really, he just shook his head as we delighted in a loving, bonding, mother-daughter moment. It was precious.

So all checks out well. Yippee. You can't ever tell that anything happened. On the outside, and well, I guess the inside too. Mentally, well, I was eating hot fudge out of the jar. Actually, I really do feel a lot better. Really I do. As I sat waiting for my dr to come in, I tried to imagine if I were there for an OB appt how I would feel: elated. If I were there for a yearly: not so exciting. I thought that might help me with our future plans. Kyle said that wasn't a fair assessment. I guess he's right. Who looks forward to their yearly? Certainly not me. I especially love it when I get up from the exam table and my butt is imprinted in wrinkled paper. That's attractive. "Here sat my butt" for all to see. TMI? Oh well. :)

Why didn't I think of that??

2008-05-20T20:15:00.003-04:00

http://kidmondo.com/

Damn, I hate when cool things come out after I have already spent so much time and energy on the same thing, but not so cool. Like, I use Google Video, Picassa2, Blogger (all Google products) because they are related and easy to transfer and all are needed for the endless recording of our kids' lives. With Kidmondo, you can have it all in one place.

Sad, but True

2008-05-15T20:39:00.003-04:00

I have a few significant moments--or experiences--in my life. I often look back and think about how circumstance has brought about events that made a significant impact on my life. I worked at a Girl Scout camp for a summer and it left an imprint on me that I will have forever. If I had not shared that with some pretty amazing people, it may not have been as memorable or life changing as I remember it to be.

Have you ever thought about what if you hadn't met certain people or done certain things, where you would be today? If I hadn't been focused on attending a party school I may not have gone to IUP (yeah, I was really driven). If I hadn't gone to IUP, I wouldn't have met my soul sisters--friends in my life that really get me. I wouldn't have met my best friend, Amy, who I feel like I couldn't live without.

If I hadn't had a really dark period in my life where I felt lost, had no direction of where my life was to go, felt smothered by the situations surrounding my parents' divorce, or just broke off a very intense relationship I may not have felt so strongly that I had to leave Pittsburgh. If I hadn't left and gone to school in Buffalo, I would not have met Kyle. Where would I be without Kyle? I can't even imagine my world without him.

I have always felt there was a reason for everything. I have believed it from my inner core. But now...now I just don't believe that everything happens for a reason. [As I just typed that Kyle came over and gave me a kiss...how can I not believe he is a gift to me?] I don't believe this because I cannot imagine a good enough reason that my baby died. And don't try to tell me otherwise because it will get ugly and messy. Maybe this is just where I am in my journey. Maybe I will feel differently later on. But right now, right now there is nothing that you can say to me that will make me feel like that should have happened.

Just a little FYI, if you don't know what to say....just say "how are you". If I feel like talking about it, I will. If I don't, I will change the subject quickly. If I do feel like talking about it, just listen. Don't talk back. Nothing you can say will make me feel better, even though I know that is all you want to do. But if you don't ask me, I'll feel like it wasn't important enough for you to feel like you should ask. I know it's a fine line, but bear with me because I need your support.

If you ask me today, "how are you" I will shrug my shoulders and say "good". My eyes will tell you otherwise. That pain is still there and it doesn't come up as often and I don't think about it all day, but it's still there. I don't have much to add. I don't have any new feelings besides what I just wrote. And who wants to hear that..."how are you?" "Well, I don't believe things happen for a reason so it's all just kind up in the air right now. And you?"

Ick...I know how this sounds. I know those who love me will be concerned. Don't be. This is where I'm at right now. And that's all I can be.

Kristie's Krazy Sexy Kurers

2008-05-12T20:27:00.002-04:00

Krazy Kurers

Mother's Day morning we headed down for the Race. Tons of people everywhere...no parking...lots of love. I saw so many people walking with pink signs that said "in memory of" or "in celebration of" and the name of a woman who has or had breast cancer. And then I saw the pink shirts. Any woman with a pink shirt is a survivor--and there were lots of them. As we were leaving the tent area, I saw a young girl--maybe 6 years old. Her sign said "in celebration of my mom" and her mom was standing next to her holding her baby brother or sister. I just thought of all the struggles she must have gone through and what her daughter had to learn at such an early age. Maybe she had the cancer before her kids were born and now they get to celebrate her triumph. I couldn't stop looking at them as we walked by. I had to say a little prayer for her to stay healthy.

And then there's my Kristie. She is a trooper. And beautiful. And I had to hold back the tears because I didn't want to be selfish in my out pouring of emotion. But I love her and I'm so proud of her. I'm so thankful that she has such a wonderful man in her life. Kristie's husband Jimmy is loving, protective, smart, funny, and you can see his big old heart and shiny soul beaming through his eyes as soon as you meet him.

I'm leaving on a jet...mini van

2008-05-08T20:53:00.003-04:00

I'm excited and anxious to leave for Pittsburgh tomorrow. I think that I have only driven with the kids by myself once before and that's when they were a lot younger. This will also be our first roadtrip with Cam being potty trained--should be interesting. I will be picking up some pull-ups for the road!

I haven't seen my HS friends in a year--almost exactly. I think this is the longest that I have ever been away from Pgh. I do miss the city, but I just don't have family there anymore so it's difficult to get back. Lots of memories though...

The Susan G Komen Walk for the Cure is on Sunday. You know, I used to work out every day. I used to train, I used to walk with Stroller Strides, I used to...I was going to say "be more active" but really can you NOT be active with a soon to be 2 year old and 3 year old? Just try it, I dare you. How pathetic is it that I'm hoping I don't injure myself in a 5k walk?! Ugh. Can't wait to start working out again. (Next week!! yea!) See...now that I wrote it I will have to do it. Because all of you, my adoring fan (no "s" is not a typo) will be expecting me to talk about working out. So now I have to because I just can't let down my fan.

thought for the day

2008-05-05T20:23:00.001-04:00

Even though I'm an adult, I still hate cleaning my room.

decisions, decisions

2008-05-01T14:44:00.003-04:00

Do I steal a (large) spoonful of hot fudge or warm up some 6 hr old coffee. Needless to say I chose the coffee. HA. And how disappointed I was when I couldn't get the damn cap off the hot fudge. I couldn't even bang it or throw it or anything because the kids, or at least Mikaela, are sleeping. Hmm...I could have run it under hot water. Ahh, but that is way too much work. So my older than dirt coffee and I are sitting here contemplating Oprah, my book that I have been reading for 2 months, or a little nap. My eyes are telling me, skip the coffee, throw all the clean laundry piled on the couch somewhere else and go to sleep! I don't know why I am so tired right now. I did go to the gym, but all I did was take a tour. Is is possible to lose weight by just taking the tour? Of course there was Cameron's haircut afterward and Mikaela's uber breakdown of all breakdowns in our driveway. All because I held her balloon so it wouldn't fly away. An hour later I was able to get her calm enough to eat and then throw her in bed.

All I have to say is that if my husband doesn't come home with some Edy's Chocolate Brownie Frozen Yogurt (and some creamer, sweetie. we are out) then...well, nothing will happen because I love him and need him and my house is a mess and I feel terribly guilty for not cleaning. Or cooking. Or pretty much doing anything useful. But I did calm down a nearly two year old for an hour. That must deserve some kind of praise!

note: i have a post waiting to be published. i spent a longer than long time trying to get the video to upload. with any luck it will be up tonight, but be forewarned. it's not the happiest of all posts, but it's me and it's real and well, guess you'll just have to read it and see.

Long Overdue

2008-04-29T12:59:00.006-04:00

First, I have to say that I have good days and bad days. If it's sunny and I'm busy, it's usually a good day and you might hear from me. If it's a bad day, then it's a bad day and it's probably raining or I'm by myself. And you won't hear from me. I've started a few posts on these bad days, but they never really turn into anything useful so I just let them go.

Today is a good day though and it is sunny--cold as heck, but sunny and that's all I need. Have I mentioned that my camera is broken? We only bought the thing 3 years ago when Cameron was born. I know in electronics age that is forever, but we spent a decent amount of money on it so that we could have excellent pictures of our perfect children. Well, the pictures aren't so excellent anymore and the kids aren't perfect. We took it in to get fixed and they said, "you might as well buy a new one." Seriously? That just sucks. So, in the meantime we are using a borrowed camera from my employer--yea perks. Looking at the pics from the weekend I realized that I have not posted anything from Texas either, so you are getting a double whammy today. This camera doesn't have a USB wire so it's arduous to get the pics downloaded. (arduous=word of the day)

Max had his First Communion this weekend, so while we don't have any pictures of him (we do have video) we have some pics of the other cousins in church. Hard to get those kids to stay still! Cameron, Emily, Annie, and Mikaela.

Mikaela and Cameron got tons of attention this weekend. They were loving life.

And now, Texas in random order and absolutely no cropping or red eye fix what-so-ever: Here's Cammie, don't know what he's doing. Lindsay and I are in the background, don't know what we are doing either. This is the only pic of me on the trip, so enjoy. And I can't help but think...as bad and sad as it is to think it...I was pregnant in this picture.

Mike teaching Cam to ride. We weren't very successful. He's only 3!

The zoo! It was a beautiful HOT day. The boys had to have snakes of course, and Mikaela has a giraffe in a purse.

We read to Cameron every night. He has always loved books. Mikaela does, too, but only on her terms. She must turn the pages when she wants to (usually before we can get past the 3rd word). For some reason, she was perfectly content letting Uncle Mike read at his own pace.

Outside again. Told ya it was random order. We were so excited to be able to enjoy warm weather...I can't tell you how good it felt!

We miss all of our cousins all the time. Can't wait until the fourth of July!!

websites for kids

2008-04-23T20:50:00.003-04:00

Tonight I hopped on a couple websites with Cameron that I use with primary teachers. I don't get online with him a lot, but he loves it when we do.

A couple favorites:

Starfall: letter recognition (click on letters that sparkle for more), beginning readers, printables.

BookPALS Storyline Online: SAG members read popular books

And if you haven't already been there--PBS Kids rocks

just sad

2008-04-20T16:42:00.001-04:00

Yesterday, I was relieved to have the D&C over with. Yesterday, I hung out with friends. Today...well, today I am just sad.

Better than expected

2008-04-19T20:52:00.002-04:00

The hospital called in the morning and we had an earlier appt for 10:30am. We had to rush to get the kids ready (and ourselves) and get out the door. Because it came so fast, it kind of upset me. We dropped the kids off at Nick and Renee's (unbelievable friends) and then we had a little cry in the car.

We had to go to the maternity ward. That is ironic pain at its best. I cried when I walked in and saw my dr. She gave me a big hug and told the nurse to take good care of her friend (which she did). We didn't have to wait too long since we ended up coming in so close to the surgery time. That was good. Unfortunately, they had a hard time finding a vein and decided not to torture me too much and left it for the surgery team. My veins never seem to cooperate. It reminded me that when I had Kaela they had to call in nurses from the ICU to try and get the IV going. The anesthesiologist started the IV. As he was putting the needle in he said, "this is going to hurt" and through gritted teeth I said, "you aren't kidding." I think that was the worst pain of the whole procedure. I think I broke Kyle's finger in the process. They wheeled me in, put on a mask, pumped me full of drugs and the next thing I knew I heard them say something about a C-section. I said, "I had a C-section?!" Ha ha ha. They thought that was very funny. Apparently, the anesthesiologist was talking about the emergency c-section they had coming up. I had to explain to them that about a week ago or so, I had a dream that I was with my dr and she was taking the baby from me (which I had interpreted as a C section). I kept telling her that I really thought it was too early to take the baby. My belly hadn't even had time to get big yet. I was disappointed that the pregnancy was ending so early. (this was all before I knew I had miscarried) So, when I was all drugged up and they were talking C-section, of course that was what I was thinking. When I was waking up I felt great. I felt like I had a great little rest. Except for the nausea, that wasn't so great but they gave me some drugs for that and it was fine after a few minutes. The nurse was talking my ear off. I don't know if she was talking because she didn't want me to break down or what, but man she didn't shut up the rest of the time in recovery.

We went back up to the maternity ward and I had to eat and pee before they would let me leave. Neither was much of a problem for me.

It was kind of hard being in the maternity ward because the only experience I had there was having my two kids. I kept wishing (while we were waiting before) that I was there to have a baby instead of what I was really there for. Of course that's what I was thinking, what else would I be thinking. I think there was only one baby on the floor, it was very quiet. When I heard that newborn cry, it made me smile. I thought I would be sad, but I wasn't. It just reminded me of Cam and Kaela and what a special time that was.

We left and took the long way home. Today was an unbelievably warm and sunny day so I didn't want to sit in the house. We drove a bit, went to pick up my prescriptions, and then instead of just going home we decided to go to Nick and Renee's. They were having a family get together, with lots of kids, and I missed my guys. So we hung out, talked, let the kids play, and ate some dinner. They were really a life saver as far as lifting our spirits. I think we were doing pretty well, but sitting at home wasn't really what I wanted to do.

I couldn't believe how good I felt. I took it easy and wasn't running after the kids or anything, but really no cramping, very little bleeding, and I have to say I really felt relieved that the whole experience was over. I felt like part of that weight was lifted and now we just need to heal and move on.

I know you all were sending me prayers of strength--I felt them. Thanks again for all of your love and support.

sunny day

2008-04-18T19:59:00.002-04:00

Today was as good of a day as it could be considering the circumstances. The weather is beautiful, sunny and warm. I was hell bent on having a fun family day and we ended up going to our neighbor's house to play. Kyle and Nick set up a swing set and the kids had a blast. I sat in the sun and just hung out. It was really nice for all of us and probably the best medicine I could have had today. It felt so good to have the sun on my face.

I'll be going in to the hospital at 3pm tomorrow. I will have a very small dose of anesthesia and only be out for about 10 minutes. Then some recovery time, but will be heading back home for the night.

I have a feeling that the time between 3pm and 5pm when I am actually scheduled will be especially difficult. If you think of us, send some prayers of strength our way.

an update

2008-04-17T17:29:00.002-04:00

Well, I have all my supplies. I went to the store and bought my favorite ice cream (Perry's Piece of Cake), vanilla ice cream, and hot fudge. I plan to have a little of all of it. Unfortunately, I am miscarrying. I wasn't surprised because I have been bleeding and cramping since Monday. We have had some time to think about it and let it sink in so today wasn't as much of a shock. Don't get me wrong, it hasn't been easy but we are dealing with it the best we can. It's strange that sometimes I'm fine and then sometimes things just set me off and I start to cry. However, Kyle and I both have felt worse (sometimes even more for them than for us) for the people who have to give us this news.

I went in to the ultrasound knowing that it was probable that I was miscarrying. The technician (Ashleigh again) met me and I explained to her that I wanted Kyle with me, that I was well aware that I was probably miscarrying, that I would like to know right away if there is a heartbeat or not, and I would like to see the baby. This is all "not protocol" but she went and talked to the radiologist and they agreed. I was very thankful for their understanding our need for information in a timely manner and also to have some closure. I'm not sure if we really have closure. Anyway, we weren't crying or anything and I think that helped her, but as I was getting changed she was explaining to Kyle that this is the worst part of her job. We then walked to my dr's office to find out what to do next. There were no dr's there at the moment (lunch?) and we ended up talking to the poor nurse who was handed our case. I told her that I already knew there wasn't a heartbeat and she said she was hoping that the report would say something different. Unfortunately, it didn't. This poor nurse was practically in tears. I really felt badly for her! She was very kind and very comforting.

Right now I just have to wait to talk to my dr tomorrow morning, but if I experience any heavy bleeding I am off to the ER.

The next few days are going to be very emotional for us. I am dreading it.