...comedies at least.

I was walking out the door this morning thinking how nice it was for my husband to start the car for me and get it all nice and toasty. A few minutes prior I noticed that it started lightly hailing again so I was glad to not have to worry too much about gloves because the car would be warm. Unfortunately, when I got to the car it was neither running, nor warm and toasty. In fact, I suddenly realized the noise I heard was not the car running, but the dehumidifier (probably frozen over) running in the basement. Hmm...and I was locked out of the house. Luckily, this has happened before and I knew that Kyle had hidden a key somewhere in the area. I was a little concerned that my cell phone was on the last leg of its battery, but hopefully it had enough juice to find out from my husband where it was hidden. After waiting a few minutes for his principal to track him down, I said, "tell me quick where is the extra key?! My battery's almost gone." His reply, "on the key ring."

Had I not been locked out of the house, that would be a great place to keep a key. But seeing as I was locked out, I thought...wtf... "oh!" he said, "there's an extra one in the car!"

"The car that is locked?" I replied.

"hmm...I guess you're outta luck," he said.

*&%^!

I had already called our friend who lives a 1/2 mile down the street. I thought I would be in luck since he usually drives past our house at about this time to drop off his daughter at school. Unfortunately on this dismal day, he had already dropped off his kids and was on his way to work. But! Lucky for me! The doors to their house were unlocked and I could walk in and get the key myself. Except...it's a 1/2 mile down the road...and I was wearing my red hot, red high heeled boots. Sorry, no can do. You know, the ones I only where when I am not teaching and won't have to be on my feet so much? yep. So, I walked next door and knocked on their door. My neighbor Aimee is a nurse and work nights, so when their kids said they were sleeping I didn't think it was necessary to wake them. I then walked across the street and knocked on that neighbor's door. They are a retired couple and it was early enough that I didn't knock loud or more than once because I didn't want to wake them either. They never answered. On my way back to my house I contemplated taking the riding lawn mower down to our friend's house. However, Kyle doesn't leave the key outside and I wasn't quite sure I could figure it out anyway. Well, there was my bike...oh, what the heck. So I grabbed my bike and it was still connected to the kid carriage thing on the back. That was entirely too much work for 8am Monday morning, so I grabbed Kyle's bike. For those of you not familiar with my husband--he's 6'3". The man owns a large bike. Anyway, I swung my leg over (hoping to not lose my balance on my fabulous, if not impractical for biking, boots) and headed out of the driveway and down the road. Now, in case you aren't finding this hysterical, picture me with my dress work clothes, high heeled red boots, glasses, long dress coat, and security tag blowing in the wind as I trudge down the road. I had a pretty good speed going until I got to the slight hill. It's amazing how difficult it is to bike in high heels and dress coat on a Monday morning with no coffee in your system. I lost steam. Luckily, it was downhill on the way back.

My only saving grace to not literally blow steam out of my ears like in the old cartoons was the fact that no less than 20 people were laughing their asses off on their way to work. Happy Monday to you all.