The thing I miss most would have to be the small moments. The times that the kids would be exploring in their own world and I would stop whatever cleaning or cooking I was doing to join them; to admire them; to delve into their reality even if just for a moment, and then we would each go back to what we were originally doing. But in that moment of time, it was just us and we were just together and loving each other and experiencing the moment in its truest form.

It has been exactly one year since I started working full time, and while I wanted to write about it and express what was going on, I just didn't always have the words or the energy. It wasn't only that I was working full time, but also the kids started a new school full time, I started working out 5-6 days a week, we both had to be mindful of how we spent each minute whether it be to get the most out of our work time, or if we had to pick up the kids at a certain time (real school means that it's not as flexible as daycare), were we getting "me" time, were we getting family time, enough sleep, enough food, healthy meals, grocery shopping, or if we had to try to fit some social time in there (we rarely did). I was racked with anxiety when September rolled around with wondering how we would get it all done--could we get it all done?

The other thing that I miss is blogging. I miss writing about my life, probably because it has been something I have always done even if not in blog form. I miss having those experiences to actually write about. When the bug would bite, I found it hard to actually have anything interesting to say. The kids spent more time away from me than they ever had, which meant that their experiences were happening at school where I wasn't witnessing them. And while this sounds as if I am being slighted by missed opportunities--that is not the case.

It turns out that working full-time for us is not half bad. Of course one of the first things we noticed was the dramatic increase in pay. And while we did splurge the first pay check on new clothes. which we desperately needed, we kept our budget fairly the same. We had a few things to increase such as gas, school expenses including field trips, pictures, and tuition, but other than that everything else was status quo. This means that we tripled the amount of money we were putting toward our debt. By February we were able to completely pay off our credit card debt--about $10,000 in 5 months. Since then we have been able to save up enough money to pay off our SUV 3 1/2 years early. We haven't paid it off yet, but more about that later.

I actually enjoy working and while I would most certainly choose to stay home if that were financially possible, this option is not as evil as I had once thought. In addition to the increase in pay, we have an increase in scheduled time. For some reason I work best under deadlines and when I have a strict schedule to adhere to. I was also ready and willing to commit to losing weight. I had had enough, and while I knew it would require hard work and dedication I knew it was what I needed. It took a little while to figure out what my proximal zone was, but once I did the weight came right off. It took me a total of 4 months to lose 20lbs. And then...I hurt my knee in December. Up until that point I had been running, so this really threw me for a loop. I got really down because I felt I had finally figured out what worked for me and I wasn't done yet! I've slowly worked through it and while I don't think my knee will ever be 100% again, I am working around it. I am, luckily so far, able to run.

This summer I decided to take most of my vacation days so that I can at least feel like I have the summer off (still working 2-3 days a week). July was spent visiting family, staying close to home, and doing things like ABSOLUTELY NOTHING for an entire day. By absolutely nothing, what I really mean is that I spent the entire day reading. I couldn't remember the last time I did that. And it was blissful. But a day or 2 of that was enough. I have continued to read, but am doing it in shorter bursts. We'll see what happens when fall comes around.

When August drew closer, I think we both said, "oh crap! One month left!" so we put our list of activities that we wanted to do before the end of summer into high gear. We did short little day or overnight trips to get the most bang for our buck. I have to say it was nice to not have to research every single free activity happening in the area, and just did what we could when we could.

Part of not going away on a week long vacation had to do with vacation days, and not being out of debt yet, but another big reason is because we put our house up for sale. (This is also why we have hung onto the cash for the SUV instead of paying it off--at least yet) We hadn't planned on doing this so soon, or really for a long time at least. I thought I was going to work part time for at least 2 more years or longer and our house works for that situation. Working full time however, means that I do more driving--although not that much more--but also that the grocery shopping, doctor's visits or anything else that is just normal stuff we have to take care of has to happen after work/school or on weekends. We spend half of our time out on the drive there and back and end up being gone for a whole day just to run errands. The kids have taken to saying, "how long is it" before we even get in the car. Not to mention the endless flower gardens, grass cutting and other household chores that are required of an acre and a half of land. Now I know why the suburbs are so popular, and am longing for the convenience. We still love it here and aren't in a total hurry to leave (we were thrilled to be able to stay the summer) but we are hoping that a move will make the things we have to do a little bit easier.

I used to spend my 2 days a week taking care of the errands or the gardening, cleaning and cooking, and now these responsibilities are shared by the whole family and are done on evenings or weekends (or in some cases not at all). I have decided to let some of the gardening go and we are pretty relaxed about cleaning the house, although we weren't very strict before. I definitely felt pressured to go back to work in order to keep my position more stable (we did have another lay-off scare in June--another reason we were piling up cash) but in the end we have definitely gained.

How are the kids dealing with this? Well, they are getting older and more independent. They were both in school all day every day and while they were tired at night time, they loved it. They have friends and activities that I would not have been able to provide them with and it is exciting to us as parents to witness their growth from a different perspective.

I'm not as nervous as this fall rolls around, but I am excited. I'm excited for Cameron to start Kindergarten in a new class and hoping that he thrives. Mikaela was so successful in Montessori that we have decided to keep her there another year. I am giving my weight loss another kick-start this fall and hope to lose those last 20 lbs, am going to try to blog if I have anything to blog about, but will definitely work on at least scrapbooking our family's memories--and finishing those baby books!! We're not sure when or if the move will happen, but either way we are fairly content. We will have all debt paid off in 1-2 years and are looking forward to never going back.

The most exciting thing is that I now know we can accomplish all of this and we can do it well. It may not be easy, but we are thankful for all that we have and all that we will achieve.

You'll find that some of the resources on the blog aren't being updated as much as I would like (or at all), but a few that have helped me immensely this year:

health
ChrisFit
Podrunner
Livestrong--My Plate

money
Dave Ramsey
My Total Money Makeover

Recipes
Should still be updating as I tag them (on the left)

Scheduling
Google Calendar

...and major props to my iPhone that now carries my entire life in one little black box. And to my husband who let me have it <3