This morning I was changing Kaela, as in her usual fashion she was singing--loudly. Cameron came out of his room saying there was a loud noise, a tree fell, and he was scared. A tree falling wouldn't be unusual around here, so I looked around but didn't see anything. Until I went to the kitchen. I saw cars in the ditch across the street--there had obviously been an accident. I put the kids in front of the tv and ran out to see if I could help. The scene was pretty serious. There were several people walking around, my neighbor was there (volunteer fireman), and I could see the driver of one car holding something over his bleeding head. They didn't need blankets, they said they didn't need anything. My neighbor's face was pale and I thought everyone had a look of accident shock on their faces. They warned me to be careful of cars slipping on the road and running into me. The kids were still parked in front of the tv so I headed in, telling them to let me know if there was anything I could do.

About an hour later, they had taken at least one person in an ambulance and some firemen were standing around. I went out and offered them some coffee.

A while later a policeman came to my door and asked where my mailbox had previously been. They were doing accident reconstruction (trying to figure out what happened.)

There was quite a bit of commotion going on all day.

At some point in the morning I saw what I thought was another ambulance. I thought it was strange that it was coming so much later than the other. Maybe someone wasn't seriously injured, but still needed an ambulance. Then I saw the back door swing open. I could clearly see "oner" on the door. And then it hit me. Someone died. That whole time, my neighbor's pale face, no activity near the second car, the looks on the firemen's faces when I went out there...a boy had died. I later found out that his name is Tim, he was 17 years old and was a senior at the high school. His friends came later on and put a cross in the ground. I wanted to hug them, but all I could do was say how sorry I was that this had happened to their friend.

It was an extremely emotional day for me. I can't imagine what Tim's friends and family are going through. His mother and father...I wish that I could tell them that I held his hand, that he wasn't alone. He died instantly so there was not ever that opportunity, but I'm glad he didn't suffer. Still, I wish I could have done something. I'm also thinking and praying for the man who hit Tim's car (not his fault--just a weather related accident). He is a teacher, and while I know that it would be difficult for anyone, I think this must be especially difficult for him.

I don't know Tim, but I do know he will be missed. People have been driving by and slowing down all day and night. I don't want my house or this spot to be thought of as a sad place, so I hope that they know that this is just the place that Tim died. It is not the place that he lived. And his life is certainly worth celebrating.

I had a bad day today. I don't often have bad days at work, but when I do they are really tough. A few things about our house has come to light---and that wasn't good news either. All of this wrapped together put me past the breaking point. I picked up the kids from daycare and felt a little better. The kids always make me see the bright side of things. When I came home, I was telling Kyle about my day while the kids were eating dinner. I was crying, and at one point really broke down. Cameron came over and hugged me, took my face in his hands, and said, "are you sad, Mom?" (He has recently taken to calling us "Mom" and "Dad". I don't know where this little 6 year old came from!) He then took a quarter of his grilled cheese sandwich and gave it to me to make me feel better. The love of a child makes everything else disappear.