Every family is a little weird, right? Well, you probably think you're normal--especially when you are a young, innocent kid. Then one day, your friends look at you like you just jumped ship from Mars because you assume they have noodles and apples for every holiday meal as you do.

Don't even google it people, it ain't there. Maybe I'll have to share that recipe sometime. Stay tuned.

OK, so my family apparently isn't so normal and here's how Christmas goes down: Christmas morning get up and open stockings (while parents sip coffee) at your leisure. If Christmas is at your house, then yippee--stay and play with the loot. Don't dare to open a gift before other family members arrive. If you have to travel to another house, DO NOT GET DRESSED, do not pass go, just get your presents and your heiney in the car and get to the house before you start receiving the calls. (cell phone: um, where are you? home phone: you're still there??? Hurry up or we're starting without you!) Once all family members are in tact, then pass out the presents to the lucky receivers, as the givers eye them and you up and say for the last (and millionth) time this Christmas season, "I know what you're getting!" Snatch the first of at least 20 cookies to get you through the first couple hours, and look over your pile. The youngest starts to open their gift--and now this is the important part--as everyone else watches. NO, we certainly do not open all gifts at once nilly willy. There is order, there is attention, and darnit, there will be oohing and ahhing! So, when it is finally your turn, you choose the tastiest of all gifts, ignoring all the shouts of "open mine next!" and rip it open. (Let the oohing and ahhing begin) Crumple up that paper and throw it as hard as you can at your brother (I mean, the youngest who must be the garbage bag holder) and then model your new Wonder Woman UnderRoos (cursing your mother for not buying you whichever one came with the bra--cat woman maybe?) until it is your turn again. This process can take anywhere from 4-6 hours depending on the event attendance. We will usually take a break and have some breakfast so the Irish coffee drinkers and the elders don't pass out before it's over. It's all great fun and I have a hard time enjoying any other gift opening when there is paper and chaos flying about. FYI--I should have left those Underoos in the package. The boys' version of R2D2, which I believe I also had, is going for $200 on ebay. One more comment, I hate the word panty. With a passion.