I've heard many people talk about being control freaks. I've considered this about myself. I think maybe I do have a bit of that in my life. I like to have choices and be able to choose the outcome, decision, path from the best possible available. I'm really no fun to shop with. I have to compare all prices for the same product (which used to mean running from one side of the mall to the other until I found the best price). At least now I can compare online and save lots of time.

As far as life goes, I realize there are some things that are out of my control. No matter the amount of energy I spend getting angry or upset, it won't change the outcome. This is how I can often take a crappy situation and just try to move on. It doesn't do anyone any good to brood about things you cannot change, only to try to grow from them. That said, there are times where we have to mourn or contemplate a situation in order to grow from it. That stage can be difficult, especially for me, because I am not in the "fixing" mentality yet. I am just trying to cope.

Before I start to feel helpless over the lack of control in our lives, I realize there are some things that I do have control over. My thoughts, for one. When my flight gets canceled after traveling for 12 hours with two toddlers there's no reason to get mad. It's inconvenient and it sucks, but anger isn't going to change the situation. It will only breed negativity.

I'm not perfect, though. (don't tell my husband) When I am waiting for a shuttle to the hotel in 50 degree weather with sleeping children and I am exhausted and the hotel guy tells me "a couple minutes" every 2o minutes, well, who wouldn't lose it a little. Even if it really only made the situation worse. Sitting in an airport pouting about our shitty situation didn't help either, so we made some choices and found a different hotel to "sleep" in. (for all of 3 hours before we had to get up for our early morning flight) I had the choice (and therefore the control) to choose to fly to a different town all together on a flight that was open, rather than try to get on a flight to our original destination (all booked all day). Many people chose that path. Unfortunately, we found out after we landed safely and finally that their flight had been canceled--again.

After arriving in TX we could have lamented over our crappy adventure in, but that never occurred to either of us. We were on our first vacation together as a family and I wasn't going to ruin it with negative thoughts. They certainly wouldn't change the situation. All we wanted to do was enjoy the beautiful sunny weather, watch our kids play with Mark (age 5), and have some good ol' family time together.

Other thoughts are not as easy to choose. I need to concentrate and really dedicate myself to changing these thoughts. When my kids are driving me crazy--when Cameron repeats himself a million times (and I answer each time) or when I tell him to stop something and he continues to do it especially if he knows it annoys me, well it's time to shift my knee jerk reaction. That reaction is usually to raise my voice and get angry. He's just a kid and just doing what kids do. I have to realize that kids also need some boundaries. If he doesn't listen, the rule is there is a consequence (which is time out for us). I have to enforce that consequence the first time. It does usually mean a day of time outs for him, but you can bet that he learns his lesson and stops doing it. The bonus for me is that my kids realize that there are boundaries and rules that every member of our society must abide by, and I feel much better about the day because it is not spent getting angry and frustrated during a time that I choose to stay home to ENJOY being with my kids.