Well, I have all my supplies. I went to the store and bought my favorite ice cream (Perry's Piece of Cake), vanilla ice cream, and hot fudge. I plan to have a little of all of it. Unfortunately, I am miscarrying. I wasn't surprised because I have been bleeding and cramping since Monday. We have had some time to think about it and let it sink in so today wasn't as much of a shock. Don't get me wrong, it hasn't been easy but we are dealing with it the best we can. It's strange that sometimes I'm fine and then sometimes things just set me off and I start to cry. However, Kyle and I both have felt worse (sometimes even more for them than for us) for the people who have to give us this news.

I went in to the ultrasound knowing that it was probable that I was miscarrying. The technician (Ashleigh again) met me and I explained to her that I wanted Kyle with me, that I was well aware that I was probably miscarrying, that I would like to know right away if there is a heartbeat or not, and I would like to see the baby. This is all "not protocol" but she went and talked to the radiologist and they agreed. I was very thankful for their understanding our need for information in a timely manner and also to have some closure. I'm not sure if we really have closure. Anyway, we weren't crying or anything and I think that helped her, but as I was getting changed she was explaining to Kyle that this is the worst part of her job. We then walked to my dr's office to find out what to do next. There were no dr's there at the moment (lunch?) and we ended up talking to the poor nurse who was handed our case. I told her that I already knew there wasn't a heartbeat and she said she was hoping that the report would say something different. Unfortunately, it didn't. This poor nurse was practically in tears. I really felt badly for her! She was very kind and very comforting.

Right now I just have to wait to talk to my dr tomorrow morning, but if I experience any heavy bleeding I am off to the ER.

The next few days are going to be very emotional for us. I am dreading it.