With everything going on in our lives, and my unfocused use of the internet, I feel like I am only writing about the things that we do. That was the original purpose of the blog--to keep friends and family updated, but I've noticed that with so much demanding my attention all of the time, I never just sit and think. I can already hear the laughter from my friends, but here's my day in a nutshell: wake up, gym (on a good day) talk to trainer or watch my iPod/ready a mag, go to work and read email, plan workshops, bounce from one website to another, eat lunch while website jumping, go home (listen to radio), play with kids, eat dinner while doing 2 or 3 other things, then more computer or plop down in front of the tv. That's all except for when I was reading Harry Potter. Then all spare time was devoted to reading. So, that's a work day. My off days are usually worse. So, when do I have time to think to myself? Don't we all need some downtime to contemplate life? I do. I usually don't listen to the radio as much as I used to because it seems the only time to think. I used to hang out at my aunt's and talk about nothing and everything. That hardly seems to happen anymore. So, maybe I will try to contemplate life a little more and write about it. And even as I'm saying that, I think I hear Kyle and the kids pulling up in the driveway...nope, must have been a neighbor. Should I be getting some dinner ready? Nah...too hot. We'll all have ice cream. :) Ok, so, contemplate life...

Ok, the first thing to pop in my head is friends. And like most things in my life these days, the internet has had a lot to do with me connecting with some high school, college, and grad school friends. It's fun to catch up with everyone and see what is going on in their lives. High school seems like a lifetime away--who was that girl with the big blonde hair? I really don't know her anymore. College--well, let's just say those were the party years and I certainly have not part of that anymore. Not with a 2 yr old screaming mama, maaaamaaaa, mama, maaammmaaa in the morning. So, what about those friends you have known forever and have always been a part of your life, and yet, you don't have much in common with them anymore? How do you break up with a friend? That's not something I was ever willing to do before. I think I was afraid of letting people go. Now, I think we all have different experiences and start to lead, sometimes, very different lives. Can we accept each other for our differences or do we somehow need to hold on to what we once were? I think that if we can't grow and move forward in our relationships, then they were never really that strong to begin with. I've also come to the conclusion that there are some things that I don't like about my friends, but it happens to be a part of their personality. I guess that if it bothers me that much, I just won't keep in touch. For the most part, though, I just accept it. I think that is the easy-going personality that I have grown into. I'm not sure why I used to have to be controlling and in charge--I don't feel that way anymore. Maybe I felt like so much of my life was out of my control, that I wanted to control something. How's that for contemplation?? Well, for what it's worth, I'm thankful to have so many friends that I love very dearly...even though they never comment on my blog...